What the blogosphere’s saying about bad bosses…

• What to do if you can’t or don’t want to quit you bad boss – Steve Strauss, USA Today

• Oooh Casey – Casey Affleck hit with second sexual harassment lawsuit…

• While the case against Al Gore was dropped.

• Advice on dealing with a bad boss, including walking a mile in his shoes…if you can stomach it.

• Your weekly funny – Living Dilbert’s the GD ringmaster of a corporate three ring circus. If you can’t do anything about your bad boss, at least you can laugh at LD’s.

What the blogosphere’s saying about bosses this week…

• Listen up bosses – Washington Post business columnist Steven Pearlstein interviewed Daniel H. Pink about his new book, “Drive” in which he discusses why the traditional carrot-and-stick approach to leading, does little for job performance and satisfaction.

• Forehead Tittaes – I don’t create it, I just report it. Click here to read, and see, what this is all about, and what it could possibly have to do with bad bosses.

• The great divide – 30 years ago top executives at S&P 500 companies made an average of 30 times what their workers did — now they make 300 times what their workers make. And they don’t understand why we can’t stand them. The Business Insider takes on ‘Undercover Boss’ and how out of touch bosses really are.

• The secret to having happy employees? Fire all the unhappy ones. Wait. What? Trust me, it’s not as bad as it sounds.

• This just in – courtesy and manners can help improve job satisfaction. In Back to Basics: The art of saying Thank You, Laurie Griffith asks bosses to check themselves.

No word on whether or not it worked, but it was a brilliant strategy. Sugar shock has probably thwarted more that its fair share of bad boss meltdowns. If you know the origins of this cake, please drop us a line and let us know if this tactic works. If it does, we’ll add it to our arsenal of surprising, but effective bad boss weapons. If it doesn’t, we’ll shove it in Mary’s HR’s face on our way out. Not really. Really.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there.  Who better to honor you with than Mr. T himself.  I’ll let his video and lyrics do all the talking because he’s so eloquent and you know…shiny.  I don’t remember this video. Either that or I blocked it out.  But, I am not ashamed to admit that I started tapping my feet halfway through.

How does this relate to Really Bad Boss? Mr. T should have fired his really bad agent right after he booked him this really bad gig and then again when he suggested Mr. T wear those really tight booty shorts.  Where’s the A-Team when you need them?  Well, at least his agent didn’t book him in Midgets vs. Mascots.

The Michael Scott School of Management Weekend Correspondence Course. Get your MBA – My Boss is an Ass – in just a few short weekends.   

Syllabus: 

Reality 101 – In Reality 101, we delve into the psychology behind why seemingly sensible individuals, when promoted to management roles, immediately and sometimes permanently, lose touch with reality. For example, they begin to make declarations, failing to acknowledge that simply declaring things don’t make them so.  Exhibit A – Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy. Thank God for Oscar.

Tomorrow: Delusions of Grandeur – If by best you mean worst

APB Issued for Good Management

Authorities issued an All Points Bulletin (APB) today for Good Management. Missing for years from thousands of offices around the world, Good Management appears to be gone forever and authorities are not optimistic about locating it.  For starters, since really bad bosses rarely display good management sense, employees have been unable to provide an accurate description.  As far as authorities have been able to ascertain, good management may never have been in really bad boss’ possession, as no one can remember ever seeing him utilize it.  Common Sense, a close friend of Good Management, is also said to be missing from the ranks of managers worldwide and was last seen…well…no details are available on the last time Common Sense was seen in management.

Authorities are currently questioning the human resources manager, who has long been suspected of hiring the really bad boss in question, despite having prior knowledge that he had never possessed nor utilized good management or common sense.  The HR manager, when questioned about her own lack of management sense, refused to answer, citing preparation for an upcoming company potluck (the company’s 12th this week) as her top priority. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, including her DNA found on ridiculous decisions strewn recklessly around the office, the HR manager still maintains that she is doing an exceptional job.  Upon hearing this, authorities immediately questioned her sanity and her understanding of the word “exceptional.”

Authorities ask that concerned citizens be on the lookout for anything remotely resembling good management. To some, it might look like not paying bonuses to executives who suck.  To others it may look more like valuing employees input and fostering a nurturing environment.  Still others might see fleeting glimpses of Good Managment in managers who refuse to take pay increases while laying off employees. Good management was last seen hanging out with Common Sense and Decency.  The trio, while difficult to find, might be the combination of characteristics that ultimately saves big business and politics.  If you see any signs that your really bad boss is exhibiting any of these characteristics, contact authorities immediately and then bundle up. Hell is about to freeze over.

Update: Immediately following the potluck luncheon, the HR Manager was taken into custody on suspicion of being the world’s biggest idiot. At the time of this writing, the HR Manager was still maintaining her innocence and preparing to celebrate National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day throughout the office. Employees have been on the lookout for a hand big enough to slap some sense into her.

Fed up employee seeks Good Boss for vacant management position

That heading didn’t come from a real classified ad, but don’t you wish it had?  In a fair and just world, wouldn’t the laid off, unemployed, or unhappily employed be able to interview their current and future bosses to ensure they’re not getting stuck with complete idiots?  Don’t you wish employees could run classified ads seeking good bosses?  That said, I decided that turnabout was fair play and based on my own experiences, wrote an ad looking for a good boss, or at least, not a really bad one.  I haven’t actually run it yet. I’ve still got some tweaking to do. If you’d like to add your own requirements, please feel free to do so in the comment section.  Without further ado:

Help Wanted:  Frustrated and browbeaten ex-employee seeks really Good Boss

Frustrated ex-employee seeks Good Boss for management position.  To be considered, candidates must have at least 15 minutes prior, successful management experience.  Repeatedly telling your husband/wife/child/pet what to do is not, despite common perception, previous management experience.  Neither is managing to get to work the morning after an all night drinking binge, managing to put a matching outfit together and/or managing not to get arrested, despite repeatedly breaking the law. Degreed individuals must have graduated from schools that are not made up by the applicant and/or are not owned by your cousin, your father’s golf buddy, or the infomercial king who has just been arrested for tax evasion.   Additional qualifications and requirements include:

1. Ability to speak authoritatively without being laughed at by employees, to your face and/or behind your back
2. Ability to increase productivity without  frightening employees and threatening violence and/or termination. Relying on  references to Jim Jones’ cult as a motivational tool will result in immediate expulsion from the company (and hopefully the country)
3. Must know and remember the names of all six employees that report to you, especially after they’ve been there an entire year
4. Must be able to go an entire day without; swearing, referring to female employees as girls and/or referring to various employees as “the Black”, “the Asian”, “the fat guy” etc. (see requirement #3)
5. Must know that Microsoft Office refers to software and is not, in fact, a physical location in the building. When apprised of the fact, must not pretend you knew it all along
6. Ability to remain sober and off furniture at holiday parties and sales meetings; If intoxication occurs, must be able to sober up before year end sales presentation the following morning
7. Must know what you are talking about at least 51% of the time
8. Some travel required – must be able to quickly get off high horse when it becomes abundantly clear you have messed up big time…again

Three non-family, non-paid, human references required.* Email resumes to denised@reallybadboss.com. 

*Satan is not an acceptable, or desirable reference.

Tomorrow: APB Issued for Good Management – Employees say they haven’t seen it in ages.

A little really bad boss weekend fun…pun intended

Entertainers and their handlers make great subjects for really bad boss, usually just by waking up in the morning.  But, we’ve got to certify Gary Coleman’s agency as one of the worst really bad bosses around for booking him a role in the Indy film “Midgets vs. Mascots.”  Yes, in case you’re pc challenged, midget is an offensive term, and Coleman himself says he’d like to “bash his fists right into his [agent's] face” for bringing him the role. If he could reach his face. The 41 year old actor cites his well publicized financial problems as the reason for taking the role.   As if that weren’t really bad enough, his agent also shows his disdain for his own client by allowing him to be photographed looking like this and (gasp), this.  We have a word of career advice for Mr. Coleman, one that his agents are obviously determined not to share with him. Lotion. Not only will it moisturize his skin, it might help us take him seriously when he complains about not being taken seriously. You think he’d listen if Willis talked to him?

• “The beach was too sandy”
• “No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled”
• “There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners”
• “I was bitten by a mosquito – No one said they could bite”
• “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all”

Read the entire list at Telegraph.