Cheating on their wives wasn’t the only bad thing politicians and elected officials were caught doing in 2009. From judges operating above the law to mayors creating their own, 2009 was a banner year for political stupidity…
Judge Sam Kent’s law and major disorder
Just when we thought Rod Blagojevich was the biggest tool going, US District Judge Sam Kent literally and figuratively takes the title. The 6′4″, 250 pound judge is disgusting. He’s not just disgusting because he sexually harassed and tormented the female members of his Galveston, Texas courthouse for years – fondling them in the hallways, forcing one assistant’s head into his crotch and forcing his mouth unto another. And, he’s not just disgusting because he was frequently drunk on the job. Even alternately calling himself ‘the emperor of Galveston’, ‘the government’ and (insulting wildlife everywhere,) ‘the lion king’ wasn’t disgusting enough. No, Kent is disgusting and deserves the Tool of the Week award because:
- In keeping with true Really Bad Boss behavior Kent first denied the sexual assaults claiming that the sexual contact was consensual. When he finally confessed, it was in a plea bargain that gave him a 33 month prison sentence for obstruction with the sexual misconduct charges being completely dropped.
- After initially denying the sexual assaults, Kent eventually blamed his behavior on “difficulties dealing with the death of his first wife and other issues.”
Read more about why Kent won our tool of the week award here…
This just in – Rod Blagojevich is still a tool. You know how much we love Blago right? Well today we fell in love all over again as he pleaded not guilty to 16 federal criminal charges. Blagojevich, hair perfectly in place, looked relaxed and confident as he entered his not guilty plea at the Dirksen Federal Building in Chicago. Blago said he was ”saddened and hurt…” by the indictment, and then told reporters to go f*** themselves. No, he didn’t actually say the last part, or at least he wasn’t caught on camera saying it. But when all this drama began four months ago, he was heard on tape referring to now President Obama, as a “m***** f*****,” so cursing at reporters would certainly not be out of character for him.
As you know from our ongoing love affair with Kwame Kilpatrick, the only thing we love more than a really bad boss, is a really bad boss who, even when caught on tape, still denies any wrong doing. It comes as absolutely no surprise to us that this pillar of the community continues to deny attempting to auction the, then vacant, Illinois senate seat to the highest bidder.
When Blagojevich finally does admit to some wrong doing, we’ll be sure to cover it here, along with the breaking news of pigs flying and hell freezing over.
We’re not buying it. No list that includes Rod Blagojevich is complete without Roland Burris. Burris still insists he didn’t try to buy his senate seat from Blagojevich. We didn’t believe him then, we don’t believe him now. Here’s how we saw it back in August.
A couple of weeks ago, Roland “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing” Burris, hinted at not running to retain the senate seat Blagojevich tried to sell him gave him. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief. At least I thought we did. Burris now says he might still be in the running because he’s being urged by “people all over the country” to run. What country? Which people? And by all over does he mean all over his house? Caus’ we’re not buying it.
That said, Marion Barry proved that some people could do anything and get reelected. And I guess being caught on tape negotiating the purchase of your senate seat, when compared to being caught on video smoking crack, is no big deal. Nevertheless, right now most people, besides the ones in his basement encouraging him to run, just think he’s an idiot. If by some miracle he’s actually elected to the position, we fear he’ll open his mouth one time too many and prove once and for all that he is.
What do you get when you mix two prostitutes and a former Republican party chair? A beat-down. A politician can usually talk himself out of anything…except that is, a beat-down from his wife who’s just caught him with two prostitutes. Former Cook county Republican Party chair Gary Skoien denies he was with two prostitutes at around 1:00am last Sunday. His wife begs to differ and police reports state she allegedly beat him (embellishment mine) after finding him at home in their children’s playroom with two women. Skoien claims the police report is wrong and that he’s working on correcting it. By correcting it he means denying it ever happened.
Editor’s note: Buck Hamilton’s Weekly Series, Managing the Meanies, will return with all new posts on Tuesday, January 5th.