• Michael Jeffries, Abercrombie & Fitch – total compensation of $71.8 million with a base salary of $1.5 million.
• James W. Stewart, BJ Services Company  – James Stewart’s $34.6 million windfall came from value realized on stock options, which resulted in a $30 million jackpot.
• Brian Roberts, Comcast Corp. – total compensation of $40.8 million (and I can’t get Comcast to come when they say they will.)
• John Faraci, International Paper – total compensation of $38.2 million.
• Eugene Isenberg, Nabors Industries – total compensation of $79.3 million.

How many employees did these guys lay off last year? How many of their remaining employees have affordable health insurance?  When I hear that universal health care is going to cost this country “too much” and then I read stuff like this, I want to spit.

That’s what she said.  Maybe those weren’t her exact words. And no, I’m not talking about Marie Antoinette. When the director of the training center where I’d worked for about a year called us into her office to announce that due to curriculum changes our positions would be eliminated, and that we’d be having cake at what would be our last weekly staff meeting, she might as well have been Marie Antoinette, telling the hungry, breadless French to eat cake.

This was my first layoff, so I hadn’t yet developed the thick skin that years of dealing with really bad bosses gives you.  I was taking it personally. I’d been a dedicated worker, had received great reviews and was loved by my students.  So while she was nonchalantly explaining the paperwork we’d need to complete before we hit the bricks, I was still wondering if I’d heard her correctly. I thought, “Let me get this straight, you’ve just told me I no longer have a job, and you want me to celebrate with cake?!”  Obviously this woman had never been laid off.  Surely this isn’t common.  Surely employers don’t dismiss you and then tell you that on your last day there’ll be cake in the conference room.  It’s not like I resigned, or got another job.  I was being let go, my feelings were hurt, and no amount of carb overloading would fix that. 

Rather than a $12 cake, a more appropriate and helpful gesture on her part would have been to craft a stellar letter of reference, connect me with some of the directors and CEOs she’d bragged about hobnobbing with and offer resume and job search assistance.   Instead, we were being told that on Friday, our last day, there’d be cake…and ice cream (lactose intolerance be damned) and that we would appreciate it.  I wondered if she realized that no amount of cake, even double layer chocolate cake, would help ease the cold and painful truth that I was no longer useful to the company. 

In fairness to her, being the one doing the layoff isn’t exactly an easy task for the more human bosses among us. Employers deal with layoffs in many different ways.  For her it was cake.  But having employees who’ve been let go break bread with people who’ve been “spared” is, in my opinion, tasteless (pun intended).  Talk about awkward conversations.  What do you say when you’re sharing cake with someone who’s just been laid off?  “Glad it was you and not me,”  “Congratulations on being disposable,”  “you got a little cake on your face.”  Yeah, tell me about it.

Her actions, no matter how well intended, ended up making a difficult situation worse.  Nevertheless, in my endless effort never to burn bridges, I walked into my last staff meeting that Friday afternoon with my head held medium-high. And after being thanked for my valuable service, had two very large slices of double layer chocolate cake.

I don’t even know where to begin with what’s wrong with this scenario.  First of all, the world needs another reality TV show like Donald Trump needs more hair spray.  At this rate, we won’t be done with everyone’s 15 minutes of fame until around the year 2040.  Is America that celebrity obsessed that everyone has to become one?  Even worse than our celebrity obsession is the idea that network execs want to make money so badly that they are willing, even in this economy, to turn lay-offs into entertainment for mass consumption.   Over the past several months, I’ve watched heart wrenching news programs that follow families as they spiral into bankruptcy and foreclosure after a layoff.  Marriages end, children are displaced and people lose the sense of stability they’ve often worked their entire lives to achieve.  This is entertainment?  With unemployment levels poised to hit double digits – is this something we want to make sport of?

No word on whether or not the businesses that participate receive any sort of payment, but even if they do, for the bosses that own the companies involved, we think it’s a bad idea to sell your employees out for a little reality show fame and some cash.  And for the geniuses who came up with this really bad idea, poorly played indeed.  I hope this show gets laid off, and fast.

Learn more about the gem of a show here.