How to Manage an Office Bully: Are You a Bully?

Denise Dawson, who runs the ReallyBadBoss.com blog, describes her first boss as “the worst bully,” a cursing and screaming type who preferred to rule by fear.  “We felt like prisoners more than employees,” she says. “Morale was awful. Attrition was atrocious.”
She worked at a small, family-owned company that made bikini wax products. The lowest point came when he asked another employee to model a bikini to give him a better idea of how they could improve their products. “And she wore it,” Dawson says. “None of us said anything. We were all scared of losing our jobs.”

What Dawson witnessed may be extreme, but the fear she described is not unique. Do your employees complain of random sabotage, harassment, humiliation or isolation? There’s a good chance they are being bullied.

OfficeArrow, an online community for office managers and small business owners, created a quiz to see if you are a bully. For those who fear they are in a bully’s bull’s eye, the Workplace Bullying Institute has a checklist of early bullying signs that includes an unreasonably demanding boss, “surprise” meetings designed to humiliate, retaliatory behavior, unfounded accusations of harassment, and extreme work-related stress that interferes with your health and personal life.

Read the complete article, including a definition of workplace bullying, online at Inc.com.

Dear Denise,

I report to the Bus. Dev. Manager – a lady with 23 years of experience in her field of expertise and good at her job when she focuses on it.
Why is she the boss from Hell ?
a. She gets angry when she has to do actual WORK because it interrupts her extra-curricular activities – CHURCH & CHARITY. Screaming, shouting are the highlights of the day.
b. All her staff are bullied into supporting her Church Charity Organisation – coerced into buying books, donating money  etc. If we dont, we are ungrateful, stingy, godless creatures.
c. She lies to HR about her activities in the field – urgent meeting with client actually means church meeting to disscuss fund-raising) etc…. you catch my drift.  All employees are required to lie blatanly saying that she has a meeting with important clients.
d. Her entertainment claim for company’s clients is utilised for taking pastor and his family, church board directors for big lunches and dinners, wooing potential contributors for her charitable organisation.
e. Her petrol card provided by the company is used for ferrying various church members to and fro. Collection of donation in kind from existing company’s clients all in the name of charity.
f.  Personal remarks she has made to me – I’m not blessed by God that’s why I dont own a car, cant carry a designer brand handbag, have no husband. Your personal life must be an open book to her.
g. Personal remarks she has made to me – I’m a negative personality that’s why I don’t go to Church. She (Boss) is very blessed and that’s why God has given her a Mercedes.
h. Personal remarks to me and others – If God has blessed you, you have no money problems, you will not be sick etc. Only Christian people are honest and do good work.
i.  Personal remarks to me and others – She is a happy person because God has blessed her for her passion in doing charity work. Because we dont support her charity, we will not be blessed hence no bonus and no increment.
j.  I was never told that handling the paperwork for her Christian Charity org. was in my job scope during the interview. Her pet charity home was launched in 2009. During my recent appraisal, I asked her for an incentive as this was extra work.  Her response was that I was ungrateful, did I not realize this was GOD’s work?, she also threatened me saying that she would fire me, make sure that I would be disciplined by HR for insubordination.
k. Her tirade went on for an hour whereby she stated that she has tried to counsel and instill CHRISTIAN VALUES in her staff but I’m ungrateful, extremely cold person and resistant to change and need to be taught a lesson.
l.  Her statement “anyone who goes against me will end up badly.” By the way HR Manager is deadly afraid of her because my boss is on very good terms with the CEO of the company. All complaints, protests by me and other employees to HR have been squashed. Instead, HR liberally issues disciplinary action letters upon request by my boss for our department.

Suffice to say this is the last straw for me – after 3 years of enduring her personal remarks and abuse; I am actively seeking a position elsewhere. In my department when my boss joined in 2007, there were 7 of us. Now only my boss and I remain in this department. I tolerated and swallowed this abuse for years. Nobody deserves this sort of treament.

A Victim

Sounds like ‘A Victim’ works for a real lunatic. I hope her job search goes well and she’s able to get away from this woman as soon as possible. I wonder if the lunatics pastor knows she’s stealing time and resources from her company to care for the church? Something tells me he/she’s got to have some idea about what’s going on. And if so, they’re just as bad as she is.

Send your bad boss story to denised@reallybadboss.com.

So how can you be sure about what you’re getting into? The answer is, you’re never really completely certain about the company you’re joining or the boss you’re about to report to. But if you pay close attention during the interview process, you might pick up on a few signs that may indicate you’re headed for rough waters.

In part I of You Might be Getting a Bad Boss, I list the first three of ten indicators that might suggest trouble ahead…

1. During the interview, the interviewer contradicts him/herself frequently – When you first inquire about why the position is open, you’re told the company is expanding. Later on the interviewer reveals that you’re replacing someone who’s no longer with the company. Whether the person was fired, or left by choice, the interviewers contradictory response could indicate either a predilection to, let’s just say, being fluid with the truth, or general confusion on their part. Either way, it’s not a good thing. Other contradictions I’ve experienced during interviews is waffling about turnover rates, the length of time the average employee stays with the company, and surprisingly enough, something as simple as office hours.

2. The interviewer begins a sentence with “Family is important, but…” – I once had a promising first stage interview with a Human Resources manager who ended the interview by asking me how important family was to me. I thought it was an odd question since most people I know would reply that their family is very important.  And that’s exactly how I responded. She responded that although it was important to her too, her job was more important. That response set alarms off. Although she hadn’t come straight out and asked me, I believe what she really wanted to know was whether I had children, and if they’d interfere with me doing my job. I didn’t and so they wouldn’t have, but that kind of inflexibility and probing on her part was telling.

Later on I found out that a friend who had accepted the position, routinely worked 70 hour workweeks, resulting in a nervous breakdown six months into the job. Would you believe that same HR Manager didn’t want to give her sick leave for the days of work she missed, and later terminated her for “lack of professionalism”? Be wary of illegal interview questions in disguise. Click here for examples of illegal interview questions.

3. The job has been open for a long time, or been filled and emptied in a short period of time – This happens in the hospitality industry pretty frequently, but if you’re dealing with a more stable industry, this kind of volatility might be a sign of bad management on a corporate level or a really bad boss on a more local level.  At one of the previous companies I worked for, the customer service manager position had been open for over a year. In a period of less than six months, they hired two candidates. One left after being unable to tolerate the level of unprofessionalism showed by her manager and the other was terminated for repeatedly falling asleep on the job. Either way, bad management was at the root of the problem. The problem in this scenario was management, and no amount of experience, talent or skill could make up for what they lacked.

Wednesday: Part II – Rude, late and unprepared

For two years I endured a verbally abusive boss who ran around cursing at the top of his lungs and leering at the women in the office. I stayed because it was my first job out of college. I’d left home and didn’t want to return humiliated and defeated. And, fresh out of school, I wasn’t aware of my rights and thought this was just the way business was done. So I put up with it.

While putting up with it, I learned some really valuable lessons. I learned I was stronger and smarter than I had given myself credit for. The Reprobate sent me from city to city to check on products without a plan or clearly defined purpose. He would bark out a command that I go visit a drug chain in some remote city out west, and I’d be gone on literally, a wing and a prayer. In those pre-GPS days, I would get off the plane, rent a car, get a map and sometimes 10 hours later end up back at my hotel room, tired and angry, but done. I told myself every day, “this is the worst job I’ll ever have”, and I meant it. I’ve never again put up with that type of abuse and I’ve turned every bad boss situation I’ve had since then into a learning experience.

A couple of tips to help you get through this week:

1. Take it one day at a time. If on Monday morning, you’re worrying about what might happen on Wednesday, by Wednesday you’ll be a wreck. Begin mentally prepping yourself from Sunday night. Take it easy on Sunday, rest and enjoy the day as much as possible.  Its sometimes easier said than done, but practice enjoying your days away from the office. Don’t spend them dreading Monday.
2. Remember that everything, and I mean everything, that happens is preparing you for the next phase in your life and career. Learning to deal with a micro-manager will teach you patience, an incompetent one will teach you to step up your game to the next level, and a reprobate will show you who you don’t want to be when you move up the management pipeline.  Soak up as much knowledge and information as you can.  Try to see every trial and obstacle as an opportunity to advance your skill set.  Last but not least, repeat after me, “what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger. “

This article was originally posted in March, 2009.

Knowing that Bob slept with the enemy reduced his IQ, in my mind, far below the already tragically low number at which it was hovering. I guess we should have seen the writing on the wall much sooner than we had. Let’s see – there were the times we’d walk into her office to find him kneeling next to her chair looking intently at the “computer screen.” Or maybe we should have known when she sent him a bottle of his favorite cologne – to the office. But all doubts should have been erased when he got a promotion although he was the newest, least qualified and most IQ challenged member of the team.

Despite all the hints, none of us ever thought that the two of them (both married) would be stupid enough to carry on an affair. You watch this kind of stuff on prime time TV and of course, David Letterman probably set some kind of standard for doing stuff like this, but still, you just don’t see it coming.

The fact is, I can’t think of any scenario where sleeping with your boss is a good idea. Not one. I’ve always thought those relationships were creepy at best and potential career suicide at worst. And even if your boss isn’t one of the bad guys – or gals – it’s still a good idea to just say no.

What are your thoughts on sleeping with the enemy – is it ever a good idea? Share your thoughts in the comment section.

In the lawsuit, Lo, 20, claims that Thomas Guerriero, CEO and president of Guerriero Wealth Holdings Inc., turned her dream job into a “raunchy, intimidating, and sexualized” workplace. If his text messages are any indication, Lo is right…

“I wanna make u cumm like u never had is that a bad thing I know ul love it,”

Lo’s attorney is claiming that Guerriero is like a “rich kid spoiled rotten” who had no reservations about emailing pornography and obscene texts to “a 19-year-old who idolized him for his financial prowess.”

Even after Lo stopped responding to his text, she claims Guerriero continued to pursue her sexually, touching her legs and leaving a sexually explicit Post-It note on her desk. He even emailed her saying he’d been thinking of her while at the spa, and wanted to make another video, but wasn’t sure how much she’d liked the first one. I think he probably has a clear idea now.

For his part, while Guerriero admits to “some flirtation” between the two, he denies any sexual harassment. Read the whole story and more of Guerriero’s ridiculously inappropriate texts here at The Village Voice. (Image source: The Village Voice – Thomas Guerriero)

A One Woman Show

Who would have thought that a couple years after being laid off (again) from a job working for (yet another) bad boss, that I’d be wearing the hats of marketing manager, artistic director, sales woman, PR person and human resources? And that’s just on a Monday.  At times it can be overwhelming and I certainly put in more hours than I’ve ever put in in my life, but the not having to answer to an idiot part and the not having to beg someone for time off part, well that makes it all worth while – even those months when I just squeak by. And I have no one to thank but the string of bad bosses who made me so angry and frustrated that I vowed I’d never work for another one again.

Working hard for everyone else

The irony is that despite the layoff track record, I’ve been working really hard for other people my entire adult life. I was the kind of employee who showed up early, stayed late and worked hard and smart because I took pride in what I did – even when my efforts were ignored. In the case of the worst bosses, my efforts were often ignored, undermined, or simply dismissed. And year after year I watched amazed as men and women who couldn’t work their their way out of a paper bag ran million dollar divisions and corporations and I wondered what they had that I didn’t.

Some of them were simply handed their jobs by parents who’d worked hard and never quite transferred the same work ethic to their kids. Others just happened to be in the right place at the right time. And still others were coasting by on dumb luck. As I walked out of the office the day I was laid off, leaving behind the most ridiculous CEO I’d ever met and the most insane HR manager I’d had to misfortune of working with, I thought out loud – there’s got to be a better way than this.

I promise, it really does make you stronger

Fortunately while I’d been suffering at the hands of the latest motley crew, I’d been learning in the process. I took foreign language courses, software classes and brushed up on management training skills (ironic I know.) I took on projects I’d had no prior experience doing and tapped people more knowledgeable than I was to help me. The moral of today’s story is this – put up with that moron for a little while longer – maybe a lot while longer. But put up with him or her and learn everything there is to learn about your job, your career and your industry while you’re stuck where you are. If possible, learn something totally out of the box. Tell yourself you’re getting more out of this than they are, and milk your current opportunities for all they’re worth. If possible, do it at your company’s expense (taking courses, training etc., not stealing office supplies.)

If you were anything like me, at times you’ll go home feeling defeated. You’ll worry about things you have no control over and you’ll wonder “why am I going through this?!?” Go ahead and feel those feelings. If you’re dealing with a really bad boss, it would be inhuman not to. But, a bad boss can’t kill you – no really, legally he can’t. And so, even though what doesn’t kill you still hurts, it really does make you stronger in the long run. I’m living proof.

1. As CEO, give your annual state of the company address loaded. Fully loaded. The following two quarters, do it again; include staggering and slurred speech for effect. As if that weren’t enough, stumble into the lap of your assistant in front of a room full of employees. Good times.
2. Completely revamp the company’s sales structure. Give it three months to work, then revamp it again.  Repeat every quarter for three years. Then when, as a direct result of your restructuring, half the sales force quits, systematically get rid of everyone who reports to you, blaming the company’s abysmal state on them.
3. When morale is at an all time low, throw weekly potluck luncheons, blindly believing that employees will be so busy binge eating they won’t realize the CEO is drunk, the VP is insane and the HR manager is off her meds. Oh yes, send intimate gifts to your male subordinate and promote him shortly after. No one will suspect a thing.
4. Call the marketing manager on a Friday night to ask her about warehouse inventory levels and why product hasn’t shipped. When she reminds you that she’s marketing and not purchasing/warehouse/sales or anything remotely related to what you’re asking, insist loudly and repeatedly that she should “know everything that’s going on with the company!”
5. Insist that female employees where pantyhose, even in 100 degree weather. Conduct unannounced pantyhose checks and clandestine trashcan searches just because you can.
6. While you’re at work, have the police come looking for you to investigate your passing of counterfeit bills. Leave abruptly through the back door,  for an “appointment”, when you notice the officers entering the building. Don’t tell your staff you’re leaving so that the cops suspect them too. (Refer to Mark Sanford’s Disappearing Act for detailed disappearing instructions.)
7. Use a clown nose and Dr. Seuss hat as props during your annual address to board members. Be hung-over when you give your presentation. As an added bonus, chug ice water directly from the water pitcher on the table in front of you. “Resign” the following week.
8. At your first meeting with your racially diverse staff, begin the conversation with “the first time I ever met a black person was in college.” Convince yourself that there’s nothing wrong with introducing yourself with that statement because, you know, one of your best friends is black.
9. Use the Jim Jones cult’s mass suicide by Kool-aid as a motivational tool. Continually encourage employees to “drink the Kool-aid” even after their eyes widen in fear, and they contemplate lodging a complaint with the EEOC.
10. Do not take the time to remember the names of any of your employees. Instead, refer to them by their race/ethnic group/body type, i.e.: the black guy, the Asian, that fat chick.

Submit your true stories of stupid things your bosses have done to denised@reallybadboss.com, or leave them right here in the comment section.

• He has no inside voice – A large percentage of this bad boss’ day is spent screaming at people above levels that are considered normal by most. Just to add a little more crazy to the mix, BCBBs pepper their outbursts with the foulest words in the English language and hurl them indiscriminately at whoever might have the misfortune of walking down the hallway at the peak of their meltdown.
• He suggests – no insists – that everyone in the company “drink the kool-aid” despite being advised that the first time something like that happened, it ended with everyone dying. To confirm his lunacy, he’ll repeat the suggestion, ad nauseum, to anyone within ear shot.
• He tells you that it’s ok to go $500,000 over budget – even while the company is hemorrhaging money. He’s got no plan or strategy to back up the bold request, but has given up all hope and wants company under that bus he’s just thrown himself under.
• He wears a clown nose and hat to the national sales meeting which is attended by board members. He is also still drunk from the night before.
• Her mood swings are so epic, the mere thought of approaching her sends shivers down everyone’s spine. She often goes days without speaking to anyone in the office. The opposite is also true – on some days she reveals way too much of the intimate details of her personal life. She is also the head of human resources.

BCBBs are as dangerous as they get. And while some of them might really have a problem that requires medication, many of them are just plain mean, rude and don’t give a damn. Whatever the cause, the effect is the same – employees walking on eggshells, low morale, and the feeling that at any moment, your BCBB could snap. My advice, get out of dodge as fast as possible.

If you have, or have had a bad boss that fits in any of the five categories, share your stories in the comment section or email them to me at denised@reallybadboss.com.

My trip down memory lane began last week with the Powerless Power-trippers I was unfortunate enough to work for during my stint with the government. Any business that rewards longevity over efficiency and productivity is destined to churn out a slew of really bad bosses. As far as I’m concerned, governments hold the record in this area.

Then there were the WOTH – Way Over Their Heads, aka Clueless. My former head of HR, and bad boss, was a card carrying member of the WOTHs and belonged to the most powerful chapter – the chapter that holds advanced degrees. Armed with her degree of “questionable origin”, she was allowed to wreak havoc on the entire staff for years before finally being terminated (fired not destroyed.)

Today I’m introducing you to The Glory Hound. The Glory Hound while found with great frequency in the government, can be found almost anywhere there’s work to do and glory to be stolen. In my case, after working for months on a major team project, with very little support and/or guidance, the evening finally came when district awards were being given. Our entire team was forced to be sitting together when our category was named. No sooner had our division’s name left the lips of the award presenter that my boss flew out of her chair and hurled herself toward the stage. When it was time for the photo op, she was front and center while I teetered on the edge of the narrow stage.

When the event was over and we’d all returned to the office the following week, the announcement was made that we’d won the award, and that the trophy would be on display in her office. No mention was ever made of my efforts – not once. By definition, Glory Hounds won’t acknowledge your efforts and they won’t share the stage. Ever. And, if they’re really bad they won’t even thank you in private. My glory hound never did, and I’m sure she never will.

Tomorrow: The – Just Going Through The Motions Bad Boss

Mary has to be the all time best example of a WOTH bad boss I’ve ever had. I’ve written a lot about Mary – my clueless former head of HR/boss. While she was officially the HR Director, because the office was so small, in many ways she was essentially the one we often reported to. Mary’s cluelessness was legendary. As office turnover skyrocketed, she was best known for staging monthly potluck luncheons and celebrating ridiculous holidays like National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. I liken it to the forest burning down and a scout leader encouraging her troop to toast marshmallows instead of running for cover. She just didn’t get it. And while on paper she seemed to understand the basics of her job – what posters to post in the break room and the correct paperwork for new hires to complete – at her core she was clueless about proper work conduct and employee management.

Mary would frequently discuss employees with other employees. She’d also share intimate details of her personal life with anyone who would listen. And at other times she’d go entire days without speaking to a soul. Worse than her questionable office behavior, was her refusal to acknowledge that as far as HR Management went, she was horrible. Even with employee turnover and dissatisfaction at an all time high, Mary took no responsibility. She blamed her bad hires on the economy, a lack of a good hiring pool, and bad luck.

There was one occasion where I sat with a new hire on his first day of the job familiarizing him with my duties and how they fit into the office’s work flow. Within 10 minutes he fell asleep. Granted, a list of my duties isn’t the most exciting topic, but as a new employee, it should take nothing short of sleeping gas to put you to sleep on your first day of work. As the weeks progressed, colleagues shared similar stories of this new hire sleeping on the job. Ostensibly this guy couldn’t stay awake for 30 minutes straight. How then did he make it through two rounds of interviews with HR, without falling asleep? Were there absolutely no signs? I find that hard to believe.

In another instance, a job candidate showed up for his interview in a suit that looked like he’d just unrolled it from the trunk of his car. Those of us who saw him walking around the office were shocked when we learned he’d made it to the second round of interviews. Long story short, on the first day of work, he asked a colleague how long he’d have to work before he could ask for time off.  A week later we saw him stealing food from the fridge. A week after that, he went out for lunch and never came back. The two incidences happened within weeks of each other, and yet Mary still bragged about being an exceptional HR Manager. In her case, calling her clueless is an understatement.

Next Week: The Glory Hound and how she almost pushed me off the stage

Why is that? In my opinion the government rewards length of service much more than it does quality of service. For that reason you’ve got highly educated, skilled employees reporting to and being pigeon holed by senior ranking government employees who are often threatened by new hires. As a consequence, Power-trippers set up shop with the intention of being removed only by death or retirement.

In my case, although I held a post-secondary degree in my field, my ideas were often stifled by my bad bosses who were more concerned with making sure that lunch breaks were exactly 30 minutes and that time slips were correctly completed. Power-trippers get lost in the minutia of day to day operations and ignore strategic planning and big picture objectives. Mine roamed the offices conducting surprise pantyhose inspections and clandestine trash can searches. Others might spend their days guarding post-it notes and pens with their lives. But the real job of a power-tripper, and where he/she excels is in serving as a constant reminder to all subordinates that they are the ones in charge.

When faced with an impossible situation like this, even the most die hard employee will eventually reach a level of frustration that forces them to look for work elsewhere. And that’s exactly what happened to me. After two years of hitting my head against a brick wall and fuming internally at the banality of my bad boss, I moved on.

Tomorrow: WOTHs aka Clueless

Co-owner Darleen Scherer, speaking to the New York Times said the employees made “an unreasonable request, and then they didn’t have any way to go but out.” She added that McLaughlin was often “like a drill sergeant,” citing the rigorous training required for baristas as a reason. Wait. What? I know people love their coffee and will die without it, especially when it’s served at a high price coffee house, but “rigorous” and “demanding?” Are we training marines our barista’s here?

In this economy, when an entire staff walks off the job, something is definitely wrong with management, no ifs ands or buts about it. And, unless these owners do something about the problem, the next group of marine-style baristas to come to work for them is going to walk off the job just like this crew.

Read the entire Gorilla Coffee saga here.

Photo Source: NY Mag

The church for its part, although acknowledging incidences of physical violence in the past, denies the incidences occurred at the hands of Miscavige and says that Rathbun was the one responsible. It also says that Rathbun was stripped of his authority in 2001 when Miscavige learned of the problem. Officials say they offered Rathbun counseling, but he refused and left the church three years later. It was only after that, they claim, that Rathbun began to make his accusations. Church leaders and members, including the ex-wives of some of the accusers, have shown their support in affidavits, emails and interviews.

Visit Anderson Cooper’s blog, AC360 on CNN.com for the full story.

Just a few of the bad bosses making the news this week…

Bad bosses are everywhere, including it seems in the Navy. Petty Officer 2nd Class Kevon Kerr is in an Atlanta jail today on $96,000 bond charged with stealing personal information from recruits at Fort Gillem and using that information to file fake tax returns.  There’s no word on the exact number of recruits Kerr stole from, but investigators are working with the NCIS to uncover additional victims. Source: WSB Atlanta

Talk about desperate – Former Desperate Housewife star Nicollette Sheridan is suing her former boss and the show’s producer Marc Cherry, and ABC to the tune of $20 million for wrongful termination alleging that Cherry berated her and even hit her in one incident. Insiders are claiming that Cherry is arrogant and rude but that the staff puts up with it because Cherry is considered a genius. Read more about what insiders are saying about this bad boss here.

In Indiana, a grand jury indicted Sheriff Mike Deatrick on 12 charges including criminal deviate conduct, sexual battery  and obstruction of justice. The majority of charges stem from complaints from two dispatchers that in 2007, Deatrick sexually abused them. The twist here lies in the fact that because the sheriff is a constitutionally elected officer, he can’t be removed from office unless he’s convicted of any of the felony charges brought against him. So, he’s still the Sheriff for now. Read the full story here.

The suit was brought by three white managers and a fourth former employee, who is black, who claimed he was fired for refusing to “dig up dirt” on his white colleagues. Damages were awarded to only two of the plaintiffs: Michael Bryant, who died in February, and John Drake, both former deputy directors of the parks department. The jury did not award any damages to former parks director Becky Kelley or Herbert Lowe, a former deputy in the parks department.

The group alleged that Jones orchestrated a scheme to replace three top white managers in the parks department with blacks. Jones, who is now running for Congress, was Dekalb County’s CEO from 2001 to 2009. His tenure was controversial but he garnered loyal support from many of his constituents. Many who worked for Jones though, labeled him a bully boss, arrogant and often condescending.

Trial testimony presented by the prosecution showed the county had 33 black and 61 white top managers when Jones first took office, but had 60 blacks and 57 whites five years later. For his part, Jones denied discriminating against his employees and even went on to compare himself to President Obama.

Read full trial coverage here.

1. You’re ignoring the facts – In the case of my former HR Manager, a 50% turnover rate in an office with less than 20 employees would have probably been a clear indicator to anyone paying attention that things were awry. When you’re not working in the hospitality industry, which is notorious for high turnover, but you’ve consistently got double digit turnover, you’ve got a real problem. Something is being lost in the message. Either new hires are unclear about what to expect or what’s expected of them, or they’re being dishonest in their interviews about their inabilities. Either way, that’s the responsibility of a good HR manager to catch. But in our case, our HR manager was too busy making excuses about the turnover rate to have a honest conversation with herself. It also didn’t help that upper management didn’t step in until things were basically in the toilet. Bad bosses are notorious for being able to pull the wool over people’s eyes, especially their own.
2. Your staff isn’t making deadlines or meeting goals – As a leader, your staff takes on your qualities – good and bad. If you’re unclear about goals, deadlines and the way you want things done, then so are your employees. I once worked with a great guy whose direct reports were always hustling at the last minute to complete even the simplest projects. The problem was he was a nice guy, but a bad boss. His own lack of organizational skills and focus impacted his team negatively, and as a consequence their days were largely spent in panic mode.
3. You outwardly defy the very rules you insist your staff abide by – You hammer home the importance of punctuality to your employees, but are late to every meeting, function and event. You site the importance of customer service, yet can be heard bad mouthing customers and employees alike. Your employees will never say anything to your face, but believe me, they’re talking about you behind your back, and it diminishes your authority in their eyes.
4. Waffle House has nothing on you – If your mission, goals, and plan of attack change with the wind, then you’re probably a bad boss. Prolonged uncertainty breeds doubt, hesitation and ultimately failure, particularly when it comes from a boss. If you’re unsure about what to do, your entire staff will be too. Changing strategy on a monthly basis shouts “I have no clue what I’m doing!” Nothing lowers confidence in management faster than waffling.
5. Openly showing favoritism – Probably every boss has his or her favorites, and there’s nothing wrong with rewarding top performers. Bosses get into trouble and wander into bad boss territory when they begin showing favoritism towards employees who don’t measure up in any category other than kissing up.  Nothing demeans the hard work and efforts of a team than when the boss starts playing favorites with the one person, or people, who aren’t pulling their load.

There are dozens of signs you’re a bad boss, including the deadly trinity of bullying, harassment and lying. What get’s some bosses in trouble is believing that because they’re not involved in the deadly trinity that they’re doing just fine. If your boss is engaging in any of the above behavior, or you’re involved in any of it yourself, then be forewarned, you’re probably in the midst of an unsuspecting  bad boss.

If you’ve experienced any of the above bad boss behaviors, we’d love to hear your story. Share your thoughts in the comment section or email them to denised@reallybadboss.com.

Beyond poor managing was her micro-managing. Emailing and responding to clients was a large part of our day. She decided that she needed to read each of the emails that we sent before we sent them. Yes, you can imagine how much wasted time occurred by emailing her a copy of every email we sent for her to review and then sending back an “okay” before we could send it. We are not talking about an office of high school drop-outs. All of my former team had at least an Associates degree, our manager included. I myself have 2 BAs and am working on my Master’s so I do acknowledge that I was a bit more frustrated with that new rule.

In addition, she had our tech team put effort into a weekly “dump” of our emails – to see if we were sending any personal emails (no one in the co sent personal emails via company email!) And to double check that none of us were sending any client emails without going through her. Talk about paranoid!! In addition, all of our phone calls were recorded. Not for the company’s protection – but so she could check our phone calls as well. We went to upper management regarding her behavior. Nothing was done.

While in the office one day, she publicly humiliated (we also had two clients visiting our office at that time) a co-worker by telling her that she used the wrong word choice and that she noticed it in an email as well and that she was also misspelling the word. Her behavior was an embarrassment to the entire office – not just for the obvious, but because her vocabulary didn’t include the word my co-worker had used. The co-worker in question ended up bringing the email to me and after our guests left, I insisted on a meeting with my department manager. She denied her behavior (with a roomful that witnessed it) and insisted that we were not as educated as we thought we were. Yes, she went there – all because she was not familiar with the word! I insisted on a meeting with her, upper management and HR because of her poor attitude. She was chastised and had to go through a two-week workshop about tolerance and employee treatment.

It wasn’t long after that a similar situation arose and she was chastised again. In the meantime, I had had my resume out and quit as soon as I found another job. Four employees followed shortly after my exit. I keep in occasional contact with my old co-workers and have since learned that she (my former department manager) was severely reprimanded again by upper management – she violated HIPAA privacy laws by demanding to see the blood test results of one of her employees who had been off work and ill. What boggles my mind is that the company still has her as an employee, let alone a manager!!

It’s stories like this that make it easier understand things like the banking meltdown and foreclosure crisis. Incompetent people in management making bad decisions with ramifications that go well beyond whether an employee’s feelings are hurt or not. And like our commenter, I’m left to wonder why these mis-managers are allowed to remain in their positions of power for as long as they do. The one bright side of this story is that our reader was able to find another job and get out.

Can you relate to this bad boss story? Share your own story in the comment section, or email me at denised@reallybadboss.com.

I recently left a job that I loved because I could not stand to deal with my Dept Manager and her own set of rules any longer. When the co first hired her and she was moved to our dept, we were informed that she was coming in as a co-worker (we needed the assistance as we were all working 12-14 hour days). We were a small group of 10 and immediately tried to welcome her and bring her up to speed with what we do. She rebuffed any friendly overtures and acted like she knew more about what we did than our entire dept combined. We ended up losing 12 major law firms that we worked with in light of her behavior. Unfortunately, her direct boss chalked it up to “growing pains” & not as a result of her antics.

It wasn’t long after that that she was made our dept head. The office atmosphere changed immediately from fast-paced and friendly to tense and stressful. Other than “managing”, she did not pick up any of our case load, but she did cut overtime to 1 hour only each day (we were still expected to maintain the same number of closed files each week, however, and had to produce a Daily Mgmt Report for her. Talk about a waste of time & paper! Each of us spent the last 30 minutes of every work day preparing one for her that we could NOT email. We had to print them out and personally hand them in. She would peruse them (30 seconds at the most) and then crumple them up and throw them away. In addition, she re-organized our case load so that each of us were dealing with a new group of clients. Not necessarily a bad idea except that each of us had built up our own relationships with these individuals. At least 40% of our client base made complaints to higher mgmt. A month later she changed everything back – a good idea in light of the complaints, but we lost a lot of ground in the meantime while trying to build new connections & accomplish what we needed to do.
Unfortunately, things did not stop there. She, too, implemented a cell-free zone – while leaving hers on prominent display in the center of her desk. She spent at least 3 hours of each work day sexting her boyfriend. We were not even allowed to use cells at lunch unless we left the building (several of us grabbed lunch at our desk in light of the demands of the office.) Btw…leaving the building to take a call was not an option as it took 10 minutes in any direction to exit the building. When she was made manager, she changed the 1 hour lunch to 2- 15 minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch (she was a smoker). My entire dept was female and the majority were mothers who would use the 1 hour lunch to run home & put the crockpot on or pick up prescriptions for their children, etc, while us non-mothers stayed behind & took care of answering any calls that came in (as we were friendly, it was a system that worked for all of us.) Her new lunch implementation changed all of that.

Much like the boss in yesterday’s post, this boss seemed to implement rules that not only destroyed employee morale, but was also counterproductive. I like to call this the arrogance factor – where bossing people around is more important than managing them.

Tomorrow: Part 3 of bad boss, bad rules

There has to be some type of answer to this problem. Someone needs to rewrite the law on what goes on in the workplace, whether it is harassment or bullying. Where I work, we encounter harassment and bullying by the office manager. This office manager is the savior of the world and we are nothing.

There are two sets of rules the office employees must follow one for her and the other for us. No personal phone calls only at lunch time and no cell phone use during the day. But it is ok for this office manager to receive personal phone calls during the course of the work day and her cell phone goes off (personal calls) and she leaves the office the speak to whoever and does not come back to work for 1/2 hr later.

In my review I was reminded that personal calls were not allowed and I told the office manager that when doctors calls I must speak to them, it’s when they are available for me to talk to them not when I’m available. My husband is very sick and I need to discuss things with them. You speak to doctors when they are available not when you are available. She told me that the doctors should call my husband and not me. But it is ok for the office managers doctors to call about her, her husband, sister-in-law, etc. I can go on and on but I won’t. I need some type of help regarding this situation. Can you help me?

While what her employer is doing seems heartless, it’s probably not illegal. If they’ve got policies that state there’s no cell phone use in the office, then employees are required to abide by those policies. Is it fair in this case where an employee has a true medical situation to deal with? No, but it’s probably legal. As for management having their own set of rules, we’ve dealt with this topic before. There are different rules for the rest of us. Managers, by virtue of their position, are allowed more “freedom” than employees, and some of it is justified. But when management adopts an “in your face” stance that seems to flaunt their freedom in the face of subordinates, it’s not only not cool, it’s debilitating to employee morale.

What are your thoughts on corporate rules and policies? Should there ever be exceptions? What advice would you give our reader who’s obviously between a rock and a hard place? Share your thoughts in our comment section.