Here’s the most recent reader submitted really bad boss story. After you’ve read it you’ll be asking yourself “would it have been that difficult for management to just get her the right chair in the first place?!?” Of course not – not for any kind of management with any sense, but we’re dealing with really bad bosses here. They’d rather lose an employee to illness and disgust than spend a few dollars on a chair. Priceless. Here’s the story as submitted by “Chairwhipped.”

My really bad boss story spans 9 months of hell (at a Big 10 university by the way), when I experienced nothing but excruciating pain while sitting at my desk all day. Mind you, a few months prior I had sat at another desk area (as a temporary employee) and was fine, but the ergonomics of this new area had been adjusted to the former shorter person who had worked there.  At any rate, due to the pain that I could no longer tolerate after having endured it for months and trying to adjust things to help, I contacted our internal HR person to bring it up to her. I got no response from her, so after 2 weeks I inquired with her again as to what I could do.  She brought this up to our “really bad boss” and he proceeded from there to be the c*ck blocker from hell.

I spoke with him in person and his point blank answer was for me to have my doctor write a note requesting that an ergonomic chair be ordered for me. He made a point to point out that management and support people have different height chairs.  (This is where I wanted to point out that he is a douche, and I am a tall woman with a size 40 I cup breasts to hold up and that a chair that hits me mid-back below the shoulder blades does not cut it!)  I proceeded to see my primary physician, she wrote the note, I supplied the note to him and nothing happened from there.  About a month went by and I asked if anything was going to proceed due to my conversation w/ him and my note from my doctor. His idea was to completely ignore me from that point forward until I finally contacted the ergonomics group where I work to help me.

Once they got involved, he had to comply with their recommendations. Slowly I got help in raising up my desk items and a few minor adjustments, but in the meantime I was in searing physical pain that forced me into physical therapy for which I had to pay- not my employer (whose fault this sh*tty workstation was).  I did physical therapy for 2 months waiting for more answers and assistance.  Finally at the 7 month mark the ergonomic dept. gave a formal recommendation for a chair, for which my douchebag boss already had the note (that he asked for!) 7 months prior.  An entire month went by with no conversation from him, no response that he had ordered the chair- nothing.

I finally went to external HR (outside of our dept) to force them to get him to give me an answer.  He gave me an answer. His answer was first: that I should never go to outside HR to ask for help since he is my HR person for our dept. (what the f*ck???!) and that he only received the request from ergonomics 1 month ago and that had not allowed him time to respond. (what??!!!).  This was his douchey, sh*tty answer to my now 7-8 months of pain, physical therapy and fighting to get a damn correct chair.  I had finally had it. I wanted to go postal on this mofo, but instead I brought in my own high-backed chair and informed him that this was a temporary situation.  It still took him 2 weeks later to move his ass and even order the item (in the meantime he blamed everyone but himself for the 8 f-ing months of delays).  I finally got this chair 9 months after my doctor wrote the note that he requested himself! This %^$** should have been fired for the way he handled this as an “HR” person.  He is a financial person who wears an HR hat that he should not have because he is absolutely horrible in dealing with human beings.

Since then, he has been a complete a-hole to deal with, c*ck blocking everything in all directions because he demands complete and total control over everyone and everything under him. I only took this stupid, underling, low-paying job because I had no choice- it was a job and the economy is horrible.  Prior to this I had been in management for 10 years and sat in a high-backed chair- no physical problems.  I feel sorry for him that he feels so small as to need to control so heavily. He’s a really bad boss that needs to retire.

Sincerely,

Chairwhipped

Do you have a really bad boss story? Send it to denised@reallybadboss.com and we’ll feature it in a future post.

Inc. Magazine recently posted an article about managing the office bully and contacted yours truly for some advice. In the piece Raven Hill offers tips on reining in the office bully. Here’s an excerpt from the article…

How to Manage an Office Bully: Are You a Bully?

Denise Dawson, who runs the ReallyBadBoss.com blog, describes her first boss as “the worst bully,” a cursing and screaming type who preferred to rule by fear.  “We felt like prisoners more than employees,” she says. “Morale was awful. Attrition was atrocious.”
She worked at a small, family-owned company that made bikini wax products. The lowest point came when he asked another employee to model a bikini to give him a better idea of how they could improve their products. “And she wore it,” Dawson says. “None of us said anything. We were all scared of losing our jobs.”

What Dawson witnessed may be extreme, but the fear she described is not unique. Do your employees complain of random sabotage, harassment, humiliation or isolation? There’s a good chance they are being bullied.

OfficeArrow, an online community for office managers and small business owners, created a quiz to see if you are a bully. For those who fear they are in a bully’s bull’s eye, the Workplace Bullying Institute has a checklist of early bullying signs that includes an unreasonably demanding boss, “surprise” meetings designed to humiliate, retaliatory behavior, unfounded accusations of harassment, and extreme work-related stress that interferes with your health and personal life.

Read the complete article, including a definition of workplace bullying, online at Inc.com.

Earlier this week I received an email from a reader. In it she describes a manager so obsessed with her church and charitable organization that she’s lying and essentially stealing from her employer to support them. Amazingly she doesn’t see the irony in sinning to support her church. Some of her comments are unbelievable. Don’t take my word for it, read it for yourself…

Dear Denise,

I report to the Bus. Dev. Manager – a lady with 23 years of experience in her field of expertise and good at her job when she focuses on it.
Why is she the boss from Hell ?
a. She gets angry when she has to do actual WORK because it interrupts her extra-curricular activities – CHURCH & CHARITY. Screaming, shouting are the highlights of the day.
b. All her staff are bullied into supporting her Church Charity Organisation – coerced into buying books, donating money  etc. If we dont, we are ungrateful, stingy, godless creatures.
c. She lies to HR about her activities in the field – urgent meeting with client actually means church meeting to disscuss fund-raising) etc…. you catch my drift.  All employees are required to lie blatanly saying that she has a meeting with important clients.
d. Her entertainment claim for company’s clients is utilised for taking pastor and his family, church board directors for big lunches and dinners, wooing potential contributors for her charitable organisation.
e. Her petrol card provided by the company is used for ferrying various church members to and fro. Collection of donation in kind from existing company’s clients all in the name of charity.
f.  Personal remarks she has made to me – I’m not blessed by God that’s why I dont own a car, cant carry a designer brand handbag, have no husband. Your personal life must be an open book to her.
g. Personal remarks she has made to me – I’m a negative personality that’s why I don’t go to Church. She (Boss) is very blessed and that’s why God has given her a Mercedes.
h. Personal remarks to me and others – If God has blessed you, you have no money problems, you will not be sick etc. Only Christian people are honest and do good work.
i.  Personal remarks to me and others – She is a happy person because God has blessed her for her passion in doing charity work. Because we dont support her charity, we will not be blessed hence no bonus and no increment.
j.  I was never told that handling the paperwork for her Christian Charity org. was in my job scope during the interview. Her pet charity home was launched in 2009. During my recent appraisal, I asked her for an incentive as this was extra work.  Her response was that I was ungrateful, did I not realize this was GOD’s work?, she also threatened me saying that she would fire me, make sure that I would be disciplined by HR for insubordination.
k. Her tirade went on for an hour whereby she stated that she has tried to counsel and instill CHRISTIAN VALUES in her staff but I’m ungrateful, extremely cold person and resistant to change and need to be taught a lesson.
l.  Her statement “anyone who goes against me will end up badly.” By the way HR Manager is deadly afraid of her because my boss is on very good terms with the CEO of the company. All complaints, protests by me and other employees to HR have been squashed. Instead, HR liberally issues disciplinary action letters upon request by my boss for our department.

Suffice to say this is the last straw for me – after 3 years of enduring her personal remarks and abuse; I am actively seeking a position elsewhere. In my department when my boss joined in 2007, there were 7 of us. Now only my boss and I remain in this department. I tolerated and swallowed this abuse for years. Nobody deserves this sort of treament.

A Victim

Sounds like ‘A Victim’ works for a real lunatic. I hope her job search goes well and she’s able to get away from this woman as soon as possible. I wonder if the lunatics pastor knows she’s stealing time and resources from her company to care for the church? Something tells me he/she’s got to have some idea about what’s going on. And if so, they’re just as bad as she is.

Send your bad boss story to denised@reallybadboss.com.

So you finally snagged that interview. You’re dressed to impress, know your five year plan by heart and are ready to accept your dream job offer. But before you do, keep in mind the old saying, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. If you’re currently dealing with a bad boss, the tendency is to jump ship at the first sign of smoother waters. But, to use another cliché, you don’t want to jump from the frying pan and into the fire.

So how can you be sure about what you’re getting into? The answer is, you’re never really completely certain about the company you’re joining or the boss you’re about to report to. But if you pay close attention during the interview process, you might pick up on a few signs that may indicate you’re headed for rough waters.

In part I of You Might be Getting a Bad Boss, I list the first three of ten indicators that might suggest trouble ahead…

1. During the interview, the interviewer contradicts him/herself frequently – When you first inquire about why the position is open, you’re told the company is expanding. Later on the interviewer reveals that you’re replacing someone who’s no longer with the company. Whether the person was fired, or left by choice, the interviewers contradictory response could indicate either a predilection to, let’s just say, being fluid with the truth, or general confusion on their part. Either way, it’s not a good thing. Other contradictions I’ve experienced during interviews is waffling about turnover rates, the length of time the average employee stays with the company, and surprisingly enough, something as simple as office hours.

2. The interviewer begins a sentence with “Family is important, but…” – I once had a promising first stage interview with a Human Resources manager who ended the interview by asking me how important family was to me. I thought it was an odd question since most people I know would reply that their family is very important.  And that’s exactly how I responded. She responded that although it was important to her too, her job was more important. That response set alarms off. Although she hadn’t come straight out and asked me, I believe what she really wanted to know was whether I had children, and if they’d interfere with me doing my job. I didn’t and so they wouldn’t have, but that kind of inflexibility and probing on her part was telling.

Later on I found out that a friend who had accepted the position, routinely worked 70 hour workweeks, resulting in a nervous breakdown six months into the job. Would you believe that same HR Manager didn’t want to give her sick leave for the days of work she missed, and later terminated her for “lack of professionalism”? Be wary of illegal interview questions in disguise. Click here for examples of illegal interview questions.

3. The job has been open for a long time, or been filled and emptied in a short period of time – This happens in the hospitality industry pretty frequently, but if you’re dealing with a more stable industry, this kind of volatility might be a sign of bad management on a corporate level or a really bad boss on a more local level.  At one of the previous companies I worked for, the customer service manager position had been open for over a year. In a period of less than six months, they hired two candidates. One left after being unable to tolerate the level of unprofessionalism showed by her manager and the other was terminated for repeatedly falling asleep on the job. Either way, bad management was at the root of the problem. The problem in this scenario was management, and no amount of experience, talent or skill could make up for what they lacked.

Wednesday: Part II – Rude, late and unprepared

It’s Monday morning and you’re already dreading the week ahead and wondering how on earth you’re going to make it through. The work is piling up and so is the pressure. Your boss isn’t getting any better, in fact she’s worse. And in these economic times it feels like you have no choice but to stay put.

For two years I endured a verbally abusive boss who ran around cursing at the top of his lungs and leering at the women in the office. I stayed because it was my first job out of college. I’d left home and didn’t want to return humiliated and defeated. And, fresh out of school, I wasn’t aware of my rights and thought this was just the way business was done. So I put up with it.

While putting up with it, I learned some really valuable lessons. I learned I was stronger and smarter than I had given myself credit for. The Reprobate sent me from city to city to check on products without a plan or clearly defined purpose. He would bark out a command that I go visit a drug chain in some remote city out west, and I’d be gone on literally, a wing and a prayer. In those pre-GPS days, I would get off the plane, rent a car, get a map and sometimes 10 hours later end up back at my hotel room, tired and angry, but done. I told myself every day, “this is the worst job I’ll ever have”, and I meant it. I’ve never again put up with that type of abuse and I’ve turned every bad boss situation I’ve had since then into a learning experience.

A couple of tips to help you get through this week:

1. Take it one day at a time. If on Monday morning, you’re worrying about what might happen on Wednesday, by Wednesday you’ll be a wreck. Begin mentally prepping yourself from Sunday night. Take it easy on Sunday, rest and enjoy the day as much as possible.  Its sometimes easier said than done, but practice enjoying your days away from the office. Don’t spend them dreading Monday.
2. Remember that everything, and I mean everything, that happens is preparing you for the next phase in your life and career. Learning to deal with a micro-manager will teach you patience, an incompetent one will teach you to step up your game to the next level, and a reprobate will show you who you don’t want to be when you move up the management pipeline.  Soak up as much knowledge and information as you can.  Try to see every trial and obstacle as an opportunity to advance your skill set.  Last but not least, repeat after me, “what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger. “

This article was originally posted in March, 2009.

I recently found out that a colleague I’d long suspected of sleeping with the boss, actually was. The realization that the relationship that had long been the subject of rumor was actually true wasn’t as surprising as the fact that in an office as small as ours, the couple actually thought they’d be able to keep their relationship a secret. What was more surprising was that while the colleague we’ll call Bob, seemed like a nice enough guy, the boss he was having the relationship with, we’ll call her Mary – yes that Mary, was absolutely crazy.

Knowing that Bob slept with the enemy reduced his IQ, in my mind, far below the already tragically low number at which it was hovering. I guess we should have seen the writing on the wall much sooner than we had. Let’s see – there were the times we’d walk into her office to find him kneeling next to her chair looking intently at the “computer screen.” Or maybe we should have known when she sent him a bottle of his favorite cologne – to the office. But all doubts should have been erased when he got a promotion although he was the newest, least qualified and most IQ challenged member of the team.

Despite all the hints, none of us ever thought that the two of them (both married) would be stupid enough to carry on an affair. You watch this kind of stuff on prime time TV and of course, David Letterman probably set some kind of standard for doing stuff like this, but still, you just don’t see it coming.

The fact is, I can’t think of any scenario where sleeping with your boss is a good idea. Not one. I’ve always thought those relationships were creepy at best and potential career suicide at worst. And even if your boss isn’t one of the bad guys – or gals – it’s still a good idea to just say no.

What are your thoughts on sleeping with the enemy – is it ever a good idea? Share your thoughts in the comment section.

In what has to be one of the nastiest examples of sexual harassment on the job, a CEO is accused of sending his intern a video of himself masturbating. On Monday, entry level stockbroker, Karen Lo, filed a lawsuit against her Wall Street investment firm CEO alleging sexual harassment, citing the video and an  “assaultive barrage” of sexually explicit text messages.

In the lawsuit, Lo, 20, claims that Thomas Guerriero, CEO and president of Guerriero Wealth Holdings Inc., turned her dream job into a “raunchy, intimidating, and sexualized” workplace. If his text messages are any indication, Lo is right…

“I wanna make u cumm like u never had is that a bad thing I know ul love it,”

Lo’s attorney is claiming that Guerriero is like a “rich kid spoiled rotten” who had no reservations about emailing pornography and obscene texts to “a 19-year-old who idolized him for his financial prowess.”

Even after Lo stopped responding to his text, she claims Guerriero continued to pursue her sexually, touching her legs and leaving a sexually explicit Post-It note on her desk. He even emailed her saying he’d been thinking of her while at the spa, and wanted to make another video, but wasn’t sure how much she’d liked the first one. I think he probably has a clear idea now.

For his part, while Guerriero admits to “some flirtation” between the two, he denies any sexual harassment. Read the whole story and more of Guerriero’s ridiculously inappropriate texts here at The Village Voice. (Image source: The Village Voice – Thomas Guerriero)