After working for about a year for the company, I moved into a newly created position to handle a program designed by and fought for by my boss. This was “her baby”.

I was used to her rarely being in the office or available to answer questions since that’s how it had been for most of my first year, but I was really surprised that this behavior continued when the new program was launched.

It started with me having to train the person taking my old job, while trying to learn my new one. The boss hadn’t done any of the new employee stuff at all. The new girl had no computerand had do use mine until IT was able to get her one (about a week after she started).  I’d have to come in early and kick her off mine for a couple hours every day to get some of my own work done.

Part of the new job involved things that I had no training for at all. It was things my boss had done before and needed to teach me. But weeks would go by where she was either not in the office at all, or in but unavailable. The stack of work I couldn’t do without some training just kept growing. She promised, when I took the position, that we would meet every Friday morning to go over the stuff I didn’t know how to do. We met 3 time in 90 days (and most of the time she spent on her iphone). Showing up for our meetings was not a priority.

At 90 days, I received my 60 day evaluation (she wasn’t around enough to do it at 60 days). She had gotten her butt chewed because this wonderful program she pushed for was going off the rails (since she never bothered to train me). Instead of taking responsibility, she threw me under the bus to save her own job.

I was put on 30 probation and given 2 areas I had to reach certain standards for, or face termination. I developed my own resources for information and ended up exceeding the levels in the areas mentioned.

So at 45 days ( she ‘d been on vacation and couldn’t do the re-evaluation at 30 days), I was fired for something else altogether. It was actually not even a firing offense and certainly wasn’t either of the goals outlined in my probation paper. But I was out.

She got a promotion.

When I got permission from the reader to post this, I found out she’s in her mid 50′s. Now unemployed, no chance of getting unemployment insurance. Another victim of a really bad boss. Here’s hoping she finds something soon, working for competent people who appreciate the work she does. Better yet, maybe she’ll strike out on her own.

Submit your real-really bad boss stories to denised (@) reallybadboss (dot) com.

“Not all psychopaths are in prison — some are in the boardroom.”

At least that’s what Canadian psychologist and co-author of the book “Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go To Work”, Dr. Robert Hare thinks.  And admit it, so do you. In fact, if you’ve had a really, really bad boss, you’re thinking, “they needed to do research about this?”  My poisoned Kool-Aid pushing former boss leads the psycho-pack followed closely by the one who screamed profanities at us on a regular basis. There are more, many more, but they may not actually classify as full psycho.

Psychopaths are conscienceless narcissists who mimic rather than feel real emotions. And according to CNN.com, there’s at least one study out there that shows that people with psychopathic tendencies are “four times more likely to be found in senior management.”

British researcher Clive Boddy reminds us that the majority of psychopaths aren’t criminal and find other ways, such as taking risks with other people’s money or property, to satisfy their desires. Corporate psychopaths lie, steal credit for work they haven’t done, and are easily bored. They’re risk takers without much concern about the consequences.  Sound like anyone you work for?

Read the full article, Bad bosses: They Psycho-path to Success on CNN.com to confirm what you’ve suspected all along about your boss. (Image: Wall Street’s Gordon Gekko)

What the blogosphere’s saying about bosses this week…

• The worst bosses of 2011? Our friends at eBosswatch list 100 of the worst bosses of 2011 and include the sexual harassment hijinks of Mike Cordova of Applebees, Mr. 999 himself, Herman Cain, and former Penn State Assistant Coach and man-who-thinks-it’s-ok-to-shower-with-young-boys, Jerry Sandusky. I’m going to have so much fun going through this list and sharing all of the really bad boss dirt with you.

• Over on Forbes.com, Stephanie Taylor Christensen shares five ways to spot a bad boss in an interview.

• Who Moved  My Cheese, Good to Great, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Little Engine That Could. The Little Engine That Could? Yes, a retail company vice president gave the employees in his department a copy of The Little Engine That Could as a holiday gift. Meredith Levinson explains why that might not have been such a good idea.

• Unfortunately, you already know this – a bad boss can follow you home. Not literally, although I’m sure that’s actually happened to someone. No, the stress and anxiety caused by a really bad boss filters into your home life. Neil Wagner explains in the Atlantic.

Have a story, news idea or blog you’d like featured in The Really Bad Boss Blog Roundup? Email it to denised (@) reallybadboss (dot) com.

I’ve had to share a hotel room with a colleague before. Besides the fact that she snored like an ox, the idea of sharing personal spaces as intimate as bedrooms and bathrooms with a work colleague is just …disturbing.  But, the budget was tight and I got along pretty well with my colleague.  But what if you had to share a hotel room with your boss? Who walked around in her thong underwear. And carried on conversations with you. While she was on the toilet.  That’s what happened to this woman as reported on the USA Travel website. Some excerpts of what Beth the boss inflicted on her employee:

First of all, Beth requires the woman to share a hotel room with her.

In hotel rooms, the employee writes, Beth “will leave the bathroom door open while using the toilet and yelling comments to me (not even my husband does this).”

Beth also walks around the room in her thong and tries to discuss her dating and sex life with the woman while the woman attempts to hide under her covers and fall asleep.

Beth is such a control freak over travel expenses that when she orders room service breakfast, she orders a single entree and pot of coffee and expects the employee to share the food.

The advice columnist who received this letter about Beth suggests that the employee find another job. Ya think? Would you ever share a hotel room with your boss?

Lauren had one date with investment banker Mike. He had a good time. She, not so much. She never called him back. What follows is (allegedly) his letter to her expressing his disappointment…

——— Message From: Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2011 14:19:39 -0500

Subject: Hi Lauren

Hi Lauren,

I’m disappointed in you. I’m disappointed that I haven’t gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages.

FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal, harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone communication. After all, people can’t see someone’s body language or tone of voice in an email. I’m not trying to be harsh, patronizing, or insulting in this email. I’m honest and direct by nature, and I’m going to be that way in this email. By the way, I did a google search, so that’s how I came across your email.

I assume that you no longer want to go out with me. (If you do want to go out with me, then you should let me know.) I suggest that you make a sincere apology to me for giving me mixed signals. I feel led on by you.

Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:

• You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I’ve never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn’t look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.
• We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis, I’ve never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.
• You said, “It was nice to meet you.” at the end of our date. A woman could say this statement as a way to show that she isn’t interested in seeing a man again or she could mean what she said—that it was nice to meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.
• We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don’t think I’m being delusional in saying this statement.

In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It’s bad to do that.

Normally, I would not be asking for information if a woman and I don’t go out again after a first date. However, in our case, I’m curious because I think our date went well and that there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship. Of course, it’s difficult to predict what would happen, but I think there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship developing between us one day (or least there was before your non-response to my voicemail and text messages).

I think we should go out on a second date. In my opinion, our first date was good enough to lead to a second date.

Why am I writing you? Well, hopefully, we will go out again. Even if we don’t, I gain utility from expressing my thoughts to you. In addition, even if you don’t want to go out again, I would like to get feedback as to why you wouldn’t want to go again. Normally, I wouldn’t ask a woman for this type of feedback after a first date, but this is an exception given I think we have a lot of potential.

If you don’t want to go again, then apparently you didn’t think our first date was good enough to lead to a second date. Dating or a relationship is not a Hollywood movie. It’s good to keep that in mind. In general, I thought the date went well and was expecting that we would go out on a second date.

If you’re not interested in going out again, then I would have preferred if you hadn’t given those mixed signals. I feel led on. We have a number of things in common. I’ll name a few things: First, we’ve both very intelligent. Second, we both like classical music so much that we go to classical music performances by ourselves. In fact, the number one interest that I would want to have in common with a woman with whom I’m in a relationship is a liking of classical music. I wouldn’t be seriously involved with a woman if she didn’t like classical music. You said that you’re planning to go the NY Philharmonic more often in the future. As I said, I go to the NY Philharmonic often. You’re very busy. It would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves. If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn’t take any significant additional time on your part. According to the internet, you’re 33 or 32, so, at least from my point of view, we’re a good match in terms of age. I could name more things that we have in common, but I’ll stop here. I don’t understand why you apparently don’t want to go out with me again. We have numerous things in common. I assume that you find me physically attractive. If you didn’t find me physically attractive, then it would have been irrational for you to go out with me in the first place. After all, our first date was not a blind date. You already knew what I looked like before our date. Perhaps, you’re unimpressed that I manage my family’s investments and my own investments. Perhaps, you don’t think I have a “real” job. Well, I’ve done very well as an investment manager. I’ve made my parents several millions of dollars. That’s real money. That’s not monopoly money. In my opinion, if I make real money, it’s a real job. Donald Trump’s children work for his company. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. George Soros’s sons help manage their family investments. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. In addition, I’m both a right-brain and left-brain man, given that I’m both an investment manager and a philosopher/writer. That’s a unique characteristic; most people aren’t like that. I’ve never been as disappointed and sad about having difficulty about getting a second date as I am with you. I’ve gone out with a lot of women in my life. (FYI, I’m not a serial dater. Sometimes, I’ve only gone out with a woman for one date.) People don’t grow on trees. I hope you appreciate the potential we have.

Am I sensitive person? Sure, I am. I think it’s better to be sensitive than to be insensitive. There are too many impolite, insensitive people in the world.

I suggest that we continue to go out and see what happens. Needless to say, I find you less appealing now (given that you haven’t returned my messages) than I did at our first date. However, I would be willing to go out with you again. I’m open minded and flexible and am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would give me the benefit of the doubt too. If you don’t want to go out again, in my opinion, you would be making a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in your life. If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite, immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly. I spent time, effort, and money meeting you for dinner. Getting back to me in response to my messages would have been a reasonable thing for you to do. In addition, you arrived about 30 minutes late for our date. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if a man showed up thirty minutes late for a first date with you.
If you’re concerned that you will hurt my feelings by providing specific information about why you don’t want to go with me again, well, my feeling are already hurt. I’m sad and disappointed about this situation. If you give information, at least I can understand the situation better. I might even learn something that is beneficial.

If you don’t want to go out again, that I request that you call me and make a sincere apology for leading me on (i.e., giving me mixed signals). In my opinion, you shouldn’t act that way toward a man and then not go out with him again. It’s bad to play with your hair so much and make so much eye contact if you’re not interested in going out with me again. I have tried to write this email well, but it’s not perfect. Again, I’m not trying to be harsh, insulting, patronizing, etc. I’m disappointed, sad, etc. I would like to talk to you on the phone. I hope you will call me back at xxx-xxx-xxxx> (if it’s inconvenient for you to talk on the phone when you read this email, you can let me know via email that you are willing to talk on the phone and I’ll call you). If you get my voicemail, you can a leave a message and I can call you back. Even if you don’t want to go out again, I would appreciate it if you give me the courtesy of calling me and talking to me. Yes, you might say things that hurt me, but my feelings are already hurt. Sending me an email response (instead of talking on the phone) would better than no response at all, but I think it would be better to talk on the phone. Email communication has too much potential for misinterpretation, etc.

Best, Mike

Can you imagine working for/with this guy? Yeah, me too.  Source: Gawker

A teacher is awaiting word on whether he’ll be fired for asking a student why he hadn’t done his homework. Except he asked it like this…

Source: Happyplace