Move over Mark Sanford. Kwame Kilpatrick take note. Despite media coverage to the contrary, American politicians do not hold the market on licentious, really bad political boss behavior. Last week, this old coot to the left, 86 year old Gov. Narain Dutt Tiwari, resigned after a tape allegedly showing him in bed with three women was released. Tiwari cited health reasons for resigning, apparently not realizing the irony in being too weak to govern, but well enough to romp in bed with three women.

As is par for the course in these kinds of cases, Tiwari is denying his involvement in the tryst. His aide in a written statement claims “The news channel report is fabricated, false and malicious to tarnish the image of the governor.” After the tape was shown on television, women’s groups protested, demanding Tiwari’s resignation. As if the tapes weren’t salacious enough, the women seen on the tape were said to have been brought to the governor by a fourth woman who was reportedly promised a mining lease by the governor in return for sexual favors. The woman said she exposed Tiwari through a sting operation when he failed to keep his promise.

It’s not customary for the Indian news media to reveal these kinds of indiscretions amongst their politicians, but this one apparently riled someone enough to break with standard practice. Personally, we think it has something to do with the shock value involved in seeing an 86 year old in bed with 3 women. Read more about the 86 year old stud at the Daily Mail.

For the next couple of weeks, Really Bad Boss will be reposting our most popular and commented on bad boss stories of 2009. Today, we’ll highlight some of the best bad political boss stories of the year. From Mark Sanford to Kwame Kilpatrick, some politicians went to great lengths to unsuccessfully cover up secret lives…

Text and the City – Embarrassing text messages between Kwame Kilpatric (Detroit, Michigan mayor) and former mayoral chief of staff Christine Beatty (not his wife) were made public yesterday.  We are really big fans of Kwame Kilpatric.  Why?  Besides the fact that he gives us so much to work with,  the only thing worse than a really bad boss is a really bad boss who doesn’t know when to sit down and shut up.  After weeks of vehemently denying the affair, perjuring himself in court  and refusing to resign even though EVERYONE KNEW HE WAS LYING, prosecutors revealed the existence of  the text messages that would ultimately seal his fate.  Now that the messages have been made public, they reveal quite a few salty exchanges between the two. Nice mayoral conduct Kwame and yet another example of bosses behaving badly.  To read the nastiness in detail, click here.

Don’t cry for me Argentina – Well, as we reported yesterday, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was indeed in Argentina, trying to get his groove back.  In an emotional, tear filled press conference, Sanford (ironically tanned) apologized to his wife, his children and, it seems, to everyone else in the world.  Sanford, unlike many other of his ilk didn’t deny having the affair and came clean about it before evidence surfaced that would prove he was lying (think Kilpatrick, Edwards).  We can argue ad nauseam about whether or not unfaithful politicians should continue to be trusted by their constituents, but in Sanford’s case, what’s unarguable is his M.I.A  routine. You can’t just go AWOL because you feel a sudden urge to get your groove on.   Abandoning your office – even temporarily – without alerting your staff or your family, is inexcusable and cause for serious questioning of your mental stability.

I’m not a South Carolina resident, and ultimately the decision lies with them.  But in our opinion, Sanford’s disappearing act is a surefire sign of a Really Bad Boss.

This is happening waaaay too often – These politicians are keeping me busy. Last week while I was lollygagging about up north minding my own business, yet another Senator admitted to having sexay times with someone other than his wife, practically begging me to write about him here.

This time the senator was 47 year old Paul Stanley (R-TN), and his “indiscretion” was with a 22 year old intern.  The conservative Republican (of course) and abstinence only supporter (of course, of course), admitted to having a sexual relationship with his intern.  After much soul searching the senator decided to come clean because his conscience wouldn’t allow him to continue with the hypocrisy.  NOT.  What really happened was the intern’s boyfriend got a hold of some nudie pictures the senator took of his girlfriend and tried to blackmail him.  It was only then that the Senator saw the light and fessed up about the affair to local authorities, stopping the blackmailer in his tracks.  The boyfriend is now charged with trying to extort $10,000 from the senator.  And the senator has joined our growing list of political Really Bad Bosses.

As if the whole sordid tale wasn’t bad enough, guess how Stanley met his current wife? You guessed it, she was once his intern.  Read the entire hot mess of a story here.

Tomorrow: Affairs weren’t the only deception by politician’s in 2009

I have no idea what I'm doing...

It seems as though politicians are falling all over themselves to display tool-like behavior.  If we could unilaterally present the award to the architects of the birther movement and the healthcare town hall showdowns, we would.  But, in keeping with tradition, we’ll give the award to a single individual who’s recently displayed very tool-like behavior.

This week, it’s a toss-up between Blagojevich puppet, Senator (we use the term loosely) Roland Burris and Governor Mark “don’t cry for me Argentina” Sanford.  Sanford’s personal use of his state’s plane has rightfully fallen under scrutiny. Pickups from his son’s games and flights to get discount haircuts, all funded by taxpayer dollars, deservedly put Sanford in the running. 

However, Burris gets the award this week for announcing a change of heart and declaring that he might run to retain his senate seat.  He then provided further proof that he’s operating solely on fumes when he declared “people all over the country” were urging him to run.  When pressed, Burris could not specify what country or clearly define what he meant by “people.”

The Burris Side-eye

A couple of weeks ago, Roland “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing” Burris, hinted at not running to retain the senate seat Blagojevich tried to sell him gave him.  We all breathed a collective sigh of relief.  At least I thought we did. Burris now says he might still be in the running because he’s being urged by “people all over the country” to run.  What country? Which people? And by all over does he mean all over his house?  Caus’ we’re not buying it. 

That said, Marion Barry proved that some people could do anything and get reelected. And I guess being caught on tape negotiating the purchase of your senate seat, when compared to being caught on video smoking crack, is no big deal.  Nevertheless, right now most people, besides the ones in his basement encouraging him to run, just think he’s an idiot.  If by some miracle he’s actually elected to the position, we fear he’ll open his mouth one time too many and prove once and for all that he is.

Actually, more like flying dirty.  Most people involved in clandestine activity do everything they can to fly under the radar – pun intended.  Not South Carolina’s governor.  Turns out, the governor, who refuses to resign even after going AWOL  to hook  up with his non-wife soul mate in Argentina, has been misusing the state aircraft.

Providing additional fuel for our Really Bad Political Boss files, the Associated Press is reporting that the governor used state planes for dozens of personal trips for himself, his wife and family during his tenure.  Some of the fun trips include: 

• A pick up from Myrtle Beach and return to Columbia, at a cost of $1,265 for “personal time” at Sanford’s favorite “discount” hair salon. Does anyone else see the irony in that?
• A pick up from his son’s football game in Bishopville and then on to a commercial flight to a Texas lake house for a gathering of Republican donors.
• A book signing in Mount Pleasant and then a 65^th birthday party for a business owner and supporter.
• On five of the last six Thanksgiving weekends, Sanford used a state plane to fly himself, his wife and their four sons from the family’s home in Beaufort County to Columbia for the state Christmas tree lighting.
• First and business class flights on commercial airlines at taxpayer expense, despite a law requiring lowest-cost travel.

Sanford with pigs

What makes Sanford’s behavior even more aggravating is that he’s made a career of appearing thrifty, demanding state employees use both sides of Post-it notes and attempting for months to block federal stimulus money for South Carolina schools.  

The governor, who’s grown fond of quoting scripture and likening himself to biblical figures, is now facing increasing calls to resign.  We’ve got one question for the spiritually minded governor, WWJD?  Thoughts after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

William Jefferson with wife Andrea (AP Photo/Kevin Wolf)

…what’s $90,000 in a freezer?  At least that’s what the Rev. Aubrey Wallace, an assistant pastor and supporter of former Louisanna Congressman William Jefferson thinks.  Jefferson, the really bad polticial boss famously known for getting busted at home with $90,000 wrapped in foil and hidden in boxes of pie crust in his freezer, was convicted Wednesday of accepting $400,000 in bribes and seeking millions more for brokering business deals in Africa.  

The FBI has been investigating Jefferson since 2005 and found that the former congressman hid his crimes by disguising  bribe money as consulting fees “earned” through sham companies controlled by his wife and brother.   The prosecutor in the case says the 62 year old Jefferson could face more than 20 years in prison.

As is par for the course in these kinds of cases, despite a freezer full of evidence, Jefferson supporters are screaming conspiracy and citing his “good” work in the community.  We see it differently. When really bad political bosses commit crimes in the communities they purport to help, they irreparably damage those communities, regardless of the number of babies they kiss or kids’ programs they support.  It sends the wrong message to the children, and it says to the adults ‘you  deserve less than honest, law abiding representation from our country’s government. ‘  Essentially, it lowers the bar, and that’s a dangerous message to send to anyone, particularly those already underserved and disadvantaged.

Read the whole sordid, frozen pie crust story here.

Former Senator, Larry Craig - Forging new pathways...feet first

One of our favorite really bad political bosses and airport bathroom loitering, toe tapping, under-stall hand swiping senators, Larry Craig, is opening his own consulting firm. 

New West Strategies is… “Forging Pathways to Better Gov….gljersskg… Government ”  Sorry, I was laughing so hard, my head hit the keyboard.   Forging pathways to better government, really?  By lying about your lifestyle, playing the victim, and then suggesting the world misconstrued your actions?  Yeah, good luck with that. 

We’d like suggest a pathway few politicians know about…it’s the pathway of truth.  We hear the path is narrow, yet rewarding.  Somehow though, we think New West Strategies will opt to forge pathways by: 

• Publicly denouncing a lifestyle, while secretly living it
• Teaching clients how to successfully fool absolutely no one, except for their wives, into believing their stories about what they did and did not intend to do in a public bathroom
• Especially for politicians – Giving lessons on how to get your wife to stand behind you no matter what you did
• And finally, how to get PAID and re-elected after public humiliation and forced resignation. Special consultant – Marion Barry

We’ve said time and time again, if only we could rebound from lies, cheating and scandal the way these politicians do.  In the real world, really bad bosses like Craig and his ilk would be joining the ever growing unemployment lines across the country instead of opening businesses  and being offered reality television shows.