The absolutely true tales of my efforts to return to the 9-5.

When last we met, I was poised to re-enter the workforce. Armed with positive vibes, great credentials and a clearance COACH bag full of enthusiasm, I began sending off inspired cover letters and resumes tweaked to within an inch of their lives. As of this writing, I’ve been contacted by a former employer who I’m certain was the inspiration for the expression, “A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.”

I’ve been negotiating with him for over a week now to agree on my rates and the amount of hours his project would require each month. Talking to this man is like talking to a bag of flour – useful if you’re making biscuits but not so much if you want intelligent conversation. We’ll call him Bob.

Bob was supposed to call me on Monday night to finalize my project hours for the week. This was after having a circular conversation with him on Monday which consisted of him asking “So, you can’t come in today?” and me responding “No, Bob, I can’t come in today.” I proceeded to explain in detail that I was working on several other projects and that Bob couldn’t expect me to drop everything at a moment’s notice. At the end of my five minute explanation, Bob says, “So, you can’t come in today?” *Sigh* We ended the conversation with Bob promising to call me Monday when he’d pinned down my schedule and agreed to my rates.

The next time I heard from Bob was at 7:08 this morning (Wednesday). He called and left a message on my cell phone marked “urgent.” Bob was “calling to confirm that you’ll be in the office at 9:00am this morning.”  *Sighs*

God help me.

I’ve decided to communicate with Bob in writing. That way there’s less chance of misunderstandings, right? Right? *Long sigh*

Editor’s Note: A couple of weeks ago I received an email from a woman who decided to handle a particularly harrowing bad boss experience in a unique way. There are dozens of self help books on the market from individuals who’ve gotten out of their bad boss situations and share advice with fellow sufferers. Debora Resnick took a different path. She wrote a novel called The Language Professor. Here’s some of what Debora shared in her email…

Years ago, the president of the college where I worked kicked me out of my job a few days before I was scheduled to come back from a one year leave of absence. Because it was a unionized position, he could not fire me outright. This man never explained or tried to justify his behavior, but I knew that what was driving him was the desire for revenge: I had had the nerve before I went on leave to balk at admitting the son of a friend of his whose grades were much weaker than that of the other admitted students. Balk, mind you, not refuse outright, because eventually I admitted the student. Thanks to my union contract, I eventually got my job back, but just before I did, this man had the nerve to tell me that he had the happiness of his employees at heart. Imagine!

What happened next was a micro political saga. The president’s term of office was up for renewal and I was elected by my employee group to be their representative on the board of the college. Composed of twenty people, the board ended up being evenly divided between supporters and opponents of the president. Bitterly contested, the president fought back, resorting, along with his supporters, to blatant doublespeak to defend his position. The deadlock persisted, until, at the very end, by an incredible twist, the president was able to pull his job out of the fire.

It took me years to get over the injustice that I had been the victim of and the feeling of helplessness it embedded in my soul.

As only writers can do, Debora tapped into her talents and found a way to tell her story in a fictionalized way.  The editorial review of The Language Professor says it “is the gripping account of one woman’s encounter with the world of double-speak.” The Language Professor is available here on Amazon.com. Kudos to Debora for turning a bad boss situation into something great!

Here’s the most recent reader submitted really bad boss story. After you’ve read it you’ll be asking yourself “would it have been that difficult for management to just get her the right chair in the first place?!?” Of course not – not for any kind of management with any sense, but we’re dealing with really bad bosses here. They’d rather lose an employee to illness and disgust than spend a few dollars on a chair. Priceless. Here’s the story as submitted by “Chairwhipped.”

My really bad boss story spans 9 months of hell (at a Big 10 university by the way), when I experienced nothing but excruciating pain while sitting at my desk all day. Mind you, a few months prior I had sat at another desk area (as a temporary employee) and was fine, but the ergonomics of this new area had been adjusted to the former shorter person who had worked there.  At any rate, due to the pain that I could no longer tolerate after having endured it for months and trying to adjust things to help, I contacted our internal HR person to bring it up to her. I got no response from her, so after 2 weeks I inquired with her again as to what I could do.  She brought this up to our “really bad boss” and he proceeded from there to be the c*ck blocker from hell.

I spoke with him in person and his point blank answer was for me to have my doctor write a note requesting that an ergonomic chair be ordered for me. He made a point to point out that management and support people have different height chairs.  (This is where I wanted to point out that he is a douche, and I am a tall woman with a size 40 I cup breasts to hold up and that a chair that hits me mid-back below the shoulder blades does not cut it!)  I proceeded to see my primary physician, she wrote the note, I supplied the note to him and nothing happened from there.  About a month went by and I asked if anything was going to proceed due to my conversation w/ him and my note from my doctor. His idea was to completely ignore me from that point forward until I finally contacted the ergonomics group where I work to help me.

Once they got involved, he had to comply with their recommendations. Slowly I got help in raising up my desk items and a few minor adjustments, but in the meantime I was in searing physical pain that forced me into physical therapy for which I had to pay- not my employer (whose fault this sh*tty workstation was).  I did physical therapy for 2 months waiting for more answers and assistance.  Finally at the 7 month mark the ergonomic dept. gave a formal recommendation for a chair, for which my douchebag boss already had the note (that he asked for!) 7 months prior.  An entire month went by with no conversation from him, no response that he had ordered the chair- nothing.

I finally went to external HR (outside of our dept) to force them to get him to give me an answer.  He gave me an answer. His answer was first: that I should never go to outside HR to ask for help since he is my HR person for our dept. (what the f*ck???!) and that he only received the request from ergonomics 1 month ago and that had not allowed him time to respond. (what??!!!).  This was his douchey, sh*tty answer to my now 7-8 months of pain, physical therapy and fighting to get a damn correct chair.  I had finally had it. I wanted to go postal on this mofo, but instead I brought in my own high-backed chair and informed him that this was a temporary situation.  It still took him 2 weeks later to move his ass and even order the item (in the meantime he blamed everyone but himself for the 8 f-ing months of delays).  I finally got this chair 9 months after my doctor wrote the note that he requested himself! This %^$** should have been fired for the way he handled this as an “HR” person.  He is a financial person who wears an HR hat that he should not have because he is absolutely horrible in dealing with human beings.

Since then, he has been a complete a-hole to deal with, c*ck blocking everything in all directions because he demands complete and total control over everyone and everything under him. I only took this stupid, underling, low-paying job because I had no choice- it was a job and the economy is horrible.  Prior to this I had been in management for 10 years and sat in a high-backed chair- no physical problems.  I feel sorry for him that he feels so small as to need to control so heavily. He’s a really bad boss that needs to retire.

Sincerely,

Chairwhipped

Do you have a really bad boss story? Send it to denised@reallybadboss.com and we’ll feature it in a future post.

Earlier this week I received an email from a reader. In it she describes a manager so obsessed with her church and charitable organization that she’s lying and essentially stealing from her employer to support them. Amazingly she doesn’t see the irony in sinning to support her church. Some of her comments are unbelievable. Don’t take my word for it, read it for yourself…

Dear Denise,

I report to the Bus. Dev. Manager – a lady with 23 years of experience in her field of expertise and good at her job when she focuses on it.
Why is she the boss from Hell ?
a. She gets angry when she has to do actual WORK because it interrupts her extra-curricular activities – CHURCH & CHARITY. Screaming, shouting are the highlights of the day.
b. All her staff are bullied into supporting her Church Charity Organisation – coerced into buying books, donating money  etc. If we dont, we are ungrateful, stingy, godless creatures.
c. She lies to HR about her activities in the field – urgent meeting with client actually means church meeting to disscuss fund-raising) etc…. you catch my drift.  All employees are required to lie blatanly saying that she has a meeting with important clients.
d. Her entertainment claim for company’s clients is utilised for taking pastor and his family, church board directors for big lunches and dinners, wooing potential contributors for her charitable organisation.
e. Her petrol card provided by the company is used for ferrying various church members to and fro. Collection of donation in kind from existing company’s clients all in the name of charity.
f.  Personal remarks she has made to me – I’m not blessed by God that’s why I dont own a car, cant carry a designer brand handbag, have no husband. Your personal life must be an open book to her.
g. Personal remarks she has made to me – I’m a negative personality that’s why I don’t go to Church. She (Boss) is very blessed and that’s why God has given her a Mercedes.
h. Personal remarks to me and others – If God has blessed you, you have no money problems, you will not be sick etc. Only Christian people are honest and do good work.
i.  Personal remarks to me and others – She is a happy person because God has blessed her for her passion in doing charity work. Because we dont support her charity, we will not be blessed hence no bonus and no increment.
j.  I was never told that handling the paperwork for her Christian Charity org. was in my job scope during the interview. Her pet charity home was launched in 2009. During my recent appraisal, I asked her for an incentive as this was extra work.  Her response was that I was ungrateful, did I not realize this was GOD’s work?, she also threatened me saying that she would fire me, make sure that I would be disciplined by HR for insubordination.
k. Her tirade went on for an hour whereby she stated that she has tried to counsel and instill CHRISTIAN VALUES in her staff but I’m ungrateful, extremely cold person and resistant to change and need to be taught a lesson.
l.  Her statement “anyone who goes against me will end up badly.” By the way HR Manager is deadly afraid of her because my boss is on very good terms with the CEO of the company. All complaints, protests by me and other employees to HR have been squashed. Instead, HR liberally issues disciplinary action letters upon request by my boss for our department.

Suffice to say this is the last straw for me – after 3 years of enduring her personal remarks and abuse; I am actively seeking a position elsewhere. In my department when my boss joined in 2007, there were 7 of us. Now only my boss and I remain in this department. I tolerated and swallowed this abuse for years. Nobody deserves this sort of treament.

A Victim

Sounds like ‘A Victim’ works for a real lunatic. I hope her job search goes well and she’s able to get away from this woman as soon as possible. I wonder if the lunatics pastor knows she’s stealing time and resources from her company to care for the church? Something tells me he/she’s got to have some idea about what’s going on. And if so, they’re just as bad as she is.

Send your bad boss story to denised@reallybadboss.com.

Here’s a new and improved list of 10 stupid things our bad bosses have done. Compiled from the true life submissions of readers, and from my own personal bad boss horror stories, the list is a Monday morning must read, if only to help you feel better about your own bad boss…

1. As CEO, give your annual state of the company address loaded. Fully loaded. The following two quarters, do it again; include staggering and slurred speech for effect. As if that weren’t enough, stumble into the lap of your assistant in front of a room full of employees. Good times.
2. Completely revamp the company’s sales structure. Give it three months to work, then revamp it again.  Repeat every quarter for three years. Then when, as a direct result of your restructuring, half the sales force quits, systematically get rid of everyone who reports to you, blaming the company’s abysmal state on them.
3. When morale is at an all time low, throw weekly potluck luncheons, blindly believing that employees will be so busy binge eating they won’t realize the CEO is drunk, the VP is insane and the HR manager is off her meds. Oh yes, send intimate gifts to your male subordinate and promote him shortly after. No one will suspect a thing.
4. Call the marketing manager on a Friday night to ask her about warehouse inventory levels and why product hasn’t shipped. When she reminds you that she’s marketing and not purchasing/warehouse/sales or anything remotely related to what you’re asking, insist loudly and repeatedly that she should “know everything that’s going on with the company!”
5. Insist that female employees where pantyhose, even in 100 degree weather. Conduct unannounced pantyhose checks and clandestine trashcan searches just because you can.
6. While you’re at work, have the police come looking for you to investigate your passing of counterfeit bills. Leave abruptly through the back door,  for an “appointment”, when you notice the officers entering the building. Don’t tell your staff you’re leaving so that the cops suspect them too. (Refer to Mark Sanford’s Disappearing Act for detailed disappearing instructions.)
7. Use a clown nose and Dr. Seuss hat as props during your annual address to board members. Be hung-over when you give your presentation. As an added bonus, chug ice water directly from the water pitcher on the table in front of you. “Resign” the following week.
8. At your first meeting with your racially diverse staff, begin the conversation with “the first time I ever met a black person was in college.” Convince yourself that there’s nothing wrong with introducing yourself with that statement because, you know, one of your best friends is black.
9. Use the Jim Jones cult’s mass suicide by Kool-aid as a motivational tool. Continually encourage employees to “drink the Kool-aid” even after their eyes widen in fear, and they contemplate lodging a complaint with the EEOC.
10. Do not take the time to remember the names of any of your employees. Instead, refer to them by their race/ethnic group/body type, i.e.: the black guy, the Asian, that fat chick.

Submit your true stories of stupid things your bosses have done to denised@reallybadboss.com, or leave them right here in the comment section.

We’re down to number five of my series, The Five Bad Bosses I’ll never forget. And when it comes to bad bosses, The Absolutely- bat crazy- bad boss (BCBB) is the big Kahuna. This mad man or woman wreaks havoc on the lives of everyone they come into contact with. Telltale signs you might have an absolutely bat crazy bad boss (based on first hand experience):

• He has no inside voice – A large percentage of this bad boss’ day is spent screaming at people above levels that are considered normal by most. Just to add a little more crazy to the mix, BCBBs pepper their outbursts with the foulest words in the English language and hurl them indiscriminately at whoever might have the misfortune of walking down the hallway at the peak of their meltdown.
• He suggests – no insists – that everyone in the company “drink the kool-aid” despite being advised that the first time something like that happened, it ended with everyone dying. To confirm his lunacy, he’ll repeat the suggestion, ad nauseum, to anyone within ear shot.
• He tells you that it’s ok to go $500,000 over budget – even while the company is hemorrhaging money. He’s got no plan or strategy to back up the bold request, but has given up all hope and wants company under that bus he’s just thrown himself under.
• He wears a clown nose and hat to the national sales meeting which is attended by board members. He is also still drunk from the night before.
• Her mood swings are so epic, the mere thought of approaching her sends shivers down everyone’s spine. She often goes days without speaking to anyone in the office. The opposite is also true – on some days she reveals way too much of the intimate details of her personal life. She is also the head of human resources.

BCBBs are as dangerous as they get. And while some of them might really have a problem that requires medication, many of them are just plain mean, rude and don’t give a damn. Whatever the cause, the effect is the same – employees walking on eggshells, low morale, and the feeling that at any moment, your BCBB could snap. My advice, get out of dodge as fast as possible.

If you have, or have had a bad boss that fits in any of the five categories, share your stories in the comment section or email them to me at denised@reallybadboss.com.

Former senior official of the Church of Scientology, Marty Rathbun, says that while serving in the church, he was pressured by his boss to beat members. Rathbun, who reported directly to church leader David Miscavige claims that violence was often used as a means of discipline and intimidation. Rathbun, who after 27 years with the church broke ties in 2004, says Miscavige frequently kicked, punched and choked members of the church’s international leadership team, and pressured him to do it as well.

The church for its part, although acknowledging incidences of physical violence in the past, denies the incidences occurred at the hands of Miscavige and says that Rathbun was the one responsible. It also says that Rathbun was stripped of his authority in 2001 when Miscavige learned of the problem. Officials say they offered Rathbun counseling, but he refused and left the church three years later. It was only after that, they claim, that Rathbun began to make his accusations. Church leaders and members, including the ex-wives of some of the accusers, have shown their support in affidavits, emails and interviews.

Visit Anderson Cooper’s blog, AC360 on CNN.com for the full story.