The absolutely true tales of my efforts to return to the 9-5.
When last we met, I was poised to re-enter the workforce. Armed with positive vibes, great credentials and a clearance COACH bag full of enthusiasm, I began sending off inspired cover letters and resumes tweaked to within an inch of their lives. As of this writing, I’ve been contacted by a former employer who I’m certain was the inspiration for the expression, “A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.”
I’ve been negotiating with him for over a week now to agree on my rates and the amount of hours his project would require each month. Talking to this man is like talking to a bag of flour – useful if you’re making biscuits but not so much if you want intelligent conversation. We’ll call him Bob.
Bob was supposed to call me on Monday night to finalize my project hours for the week. This was after having a circular conversation with him on Monday which consisted of him asking “So, you can’t come in today?” and me responding “No, Bob, I can’t come in today.” I proceeded to explain in detail that I was working on several other projects and that Bob couldn’t expect me to drop everything at a moment’s notice. At the end of my five minute explanation, Bob says, “So, you can’t come in today?” *Sigh* We ended the conversation with Bob promising to call me Monday when he’d pinned down my schedule and agreed to my rates.
The next time I heard from Bob was at 7:08 this morning (Wednesday). He called and left a message on my cell phone marked “urgent.” Bob was “calling to confirm that you’ll be in the office at 9:00am this morning.” *Sighs*
God help me.
I’ve decided to communicate with Bob in writing. That way there’s less chance of misunderstandings, right? Right? *Long sigh*



