Here’s a new and improved list of 10 stupid things our bad bosses have done. Compiled from the true life submissions of readers, and from my own personal bad boss horror stories, the list is a Monday morning must read, if only to help you feel better about your own bad boss…

1. As CEO, give your annual state of the company address loaded. Fully loaded. The following two quarters, do it again; include staggering and slurred speech for effect. As if that weren’t enough, stumble into the lap of your assistant in front of a room full of employees. Good times.
2. Completely revamp the company’s sales structure. Give it three months to work, then revamp it again.  Repeat every quarter for three years. Then when, as a direct result of your restructuring, half the sales force quits, systematically get rid of everyone who reports to you, blaming the company’s abysmal state on them.
3. When morale is at an all time low, throw weekly potluck luncheons, blindly believing that employees will be so busy binge eating they won’t realize the CEO is drunk, the VP is insane and the HR manager is off her meds. Oh yes, send intimate gifts to your male subordinate and promote him shortly after. No one will suspect a thing.
4. Call the marketing manager on a Friday night to ask her about warehouse inventory levels and why product hasn’t shipped. When she reminds you that she’s marketing and not purchasing/warehouse/sales or anything remotely related to what you’re asking, insist loudly and repeatedly that she should “know everything that’s going on with the company!”
5. Insist that female employees where pantyhose, even in 100 degree weather. Conduct unannounced pantyhose checks and clandestine trashcan searches just because you can.
6. While you’re at work, have the police come looking for you to investigate your passing of counterfeit bills. Leave abruptly through the back door,  for an “appointment”, when you notice the officers entering the building. Don’t tell your staff you’re leaving so that the cops suspect them too. (Refer to Mark Sanford’s Disappearing Act for detailed disappearing instructions.)
7. Use a clown nose and Dr. Seuss hat as props during your annual address to board members. Be hung-over when you give your presentation. As an added bonus, chug ice water directly from the water pitcher on the table in front of you. “Resign” the following week.
8. At your first meeting with your racially diverse staff, begin the conversation with “the first time I ever met a black person was in college.” Convince yourself that there’s nothing wrong with introducing yourself with that statement because, you know, one of your best friends is black.
9. Use the Jim Jones cult’s mass suicide by Kool-aid as a motivational tool. Continually encourage employees to “drink the Kool-aid” even after their eyes widen in fear, and they contemplate lodging a complaint with the EEOC.
10. Do not take the time to remember the names of any of your employees. Instead, refer to them by their race/ethnic group/body type, i.e.: the black guy, the Asian, that fat chick.

Submit your true stories of stupid things your bosses have done to denised@reallybadboss.com, or leave them right here in the comment section.

Eric "friendly groping" Massa

Whether it’s politicians lying about their love children, teachers having affairs with students and each other, or bosses lying to protect the bottom line, we’ve been experiencing a crisis of bad boss behavior lately, and there’s no telling when it’s going to stop.

Politicians are notorious for their bad behavior, but with the recent onslaught of Argentinian mistresses, love children, “friendly groping”, and corruption scandals that’s been in the news over the past couple of years, it’s no wonder people have had it with all things political.

The worst display of bad boss behavior in the political realm? The health care debate. We don’t know about you, but we don’t like the idea of a bunch of guaranteed retirement policy and health insurance for themselves and family having politicians determining who deserves health care in this country. It’s like a carrot deciding whether it’s pork or beef for dinner – the carrot’s got nothing to lose. He wins no matter what choice is made, and that’s the system we’re currently stuck with.

But there’s always hope in the upstanding and underappreciated field of education, right? Not so fast. Apparently teachers now think it’s ok to sleep with their students. They also seem to think its ok to duke it out in the halls at school when they realize they’re both sleeping with the same teacher. But it’s not all sexual. A former researcher at the University at Buffalo hired actors to testify in a case on his behalf. That same researcher was later found dead in his home.

Bail outs, recalls, foreclosures…need I continue? Running a close second to the bad boss behavior of politicians is the greed that’s rife in corporate America. From awarding million dollar bonus packages to CEO’s who ran their companies into the ground, to monopolies like AT&T with what many consider THE worst customer service in the world, we’re at the end of our proverbial straws.

So how do we attack this national, and global, crisis of mismanagement head on? It certainly won’t be easy. Greed, arrogance and selfishness are the driving forces behind much of this global bad boss behavior, and we’re not expecting those traits to go away anytime soon. So, is it too late? Can anything be done to save our leadership?

Share your thoughts in the comment section, on Twitter, or on our Facebook fan page.

Move over Mark Sanford. Kwame Kilpatrick take note. Despite media coverage to the contrary, American politicians do not hold the market on licentious, really bad political boss behavior. Last week, this old coot to the left, 86 year old Gov. Narain Dutt Tiwari, resigned after a tape allegedly showing him in bed with three women was released. Tiwari cited health reasons for resigning, apparently not realizing the irony in being too weak to govern, but well enough to romp in bed with three women.

As is par for the course in these kinds of cases, Tiwari is denying his involvement in the tryst. His aide in a written statement claims “The news channel report is fabricated, false and malicious to tarnish the image of the governor.” After the tape was shown on television, women’s groups protested, demanding Tiwari’s resignation. As if the tapes weren’t salacious enough, the women seen on the tape were said to have been brought to the governor by a fourth woman who was reportedly promised a mining lease by the governor in return for sexual favors. The woman said she exposed Tiwari through a sting operation when he failed to keep his promise.

It’s not customary for the Indian news media to reveal these kinds of indiscretions amongst their politicians, but this one apparently riled someone enough to break with standard practice. Personally, we think it has something to do with the shock value involved in seeing an 86 year old in bed with 3 women. Read more about the 86 year old stud at the Daily Mail.

2009 was full of them. Tools. Men and women who, despite being put into positions of power, couldn’t disguise their true, tool selves. Here are a few of Really Bad Boss’ favorite tools of 2009:

Roland Burris was bad enough to earn slots in both our shady politicians and tool of the week roundups. Here’s how we summed him up back in August.

It seems as though politicians are falling all over themselves to display tool-like behavior.  If we could unilaterally present the award to the architects of the birther movement and the healthcare town hall showdowns, we would.  But, in keeping with tradition, we’ll give the award to a single individual who’s recently displayed very tool-like behavior.

This week, it’s a toss-up between Blagojevich puppet, Senator (we use the term loosely) Roland Burris and Governor Mark “don’t cry for me Argentina” Sanford.  Sanford’s personal use of his state’s plane has rightfully fallen under scrutiny. Pickups from his son’s games and flights to get discount haircuts, all funded by taxpayer dollars, deservedly put Sanford in the running.

However, Burris gets the award this week for announcing a change of heart and declaring that he might run to retain his senate seat.  He then provided further proof that he’s operating solely on fumes when he declared “people all over the country” were urging him to run.  When pressed, Burris could not specify what country or clearly define what he meant by “people.”

The New Jersey Massive.  Remember them? Here’s a refresher.

This one is about a week late in coming, and it’s technically 44 tools…but we’ve got to give it to the group we now refer to as the New Jersey Massive.  The NJ Massive includes Rabbis, assemblymen, mayors and a host of other elected and appointed officials allegedly involved in crimes ranging from money laundering to human kidney selling.  The turnpike isn’t the only thing that stinks in New Jersey.

Brilliantly Stupid Boss

We kind of tread lightly on this one, after all she was the victim. But we had a hard time believing that this extremely intelligent, highly paid woman would be duped into living in abject poverty by her fake Rockefeller husband. Here’s how we saw it back in June…

The Harvard educated ex-wife of Rockefeller perpetrator Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter says she stayed married to a man who she says withheld food and kept her a mental prisoner throughout their 12 year marriage.  Gerhartsreiter, who’s on trial for kidnapping the couple’s 7 year old daughter last year, spent his entire adult life pretending to be someone else, the most famous of which was Clark Rockefeller, heir to the Rockefeller legacy. Read the full story here.

RNC Chair Michael Steele was a Really Bad Boss favorite this year.

RNC Chair Michael Steele continues to do everything in his power to attract minorities to the Republican Party.  And by attract, we mean swear them off for life.  He seems to be aiming for a Really Bad Boss Lifetime Achievement Award, and if he keeps it up, he’ll get several.  In his seven months as RNC Chair, Steele has done the following – Suggested that hosting hip hop rallies was the key to recruiting a younger, more diverse following for the Republican party. Declares there’ll be no more apologizing from the Republican Party, and then fearfully continues to apologize to Rush Limbaugh on the rare occasions when he has an original thought. Thinks that fried chicken and potato salad will attract diversity to the Republican Party.  In the same interview, refers to the end of slavery, but doesn’t seem to believe it himself. All this and he’s only held the position for about seven months. For his sheer ignorance and intense stupidity, Michael Steele gets this week’s Really Bad Boss Tool of the Week Award. He’s earned it.

Bosses behaving badly – Another Senator, another affair, another Tool of the week

Nevada’s Republican Senator John Ensign is the latest publicly elected figure caught up and out engaging in an extramarital affair.  It’s becoming rote. The headlines can practically write themselves.” Insert politican/public leader /CEO name here, has affair with 30ish assistant/campaign staff member/former model.”  In fact, it’s so common that this “news” almost didn’t make it as a post.  But then I started thinking.  The fact that extramarital affairs by public leaders have become so commonplace that it’s no longer news…is news. Read our take on it back in June here.

Valley Swim Club gets the Tool of the week award

Philadelphia Club rescinds camp’s membership  when they learn black children attend the camp – We know that members only (often code for whites only) clubs still exist.  But the fact that the president of one of these clubs (a club that advertises open membership) issues the following statement after members complain about black children swimming in their pool, reminds us that stupid is a club with more members than it can handle:

“There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club.”   John Duesler, President of The Valley Swim Club. Yes, he actually used the word complexion. Read the rest here.

For the next couple of weeks, Really Bad Boss will be reposting our most popular and commented on bad boss stories of 2009. Today, we’ll highlight some of the best bad political boss stories of the year. From Mark Sanford to Kwame Kilpatrick, some politicians went to great lengths to unsuccessfully cover up secret lives…

Text and the City – Embarrassing text messages between Kwame Kilpatric (Detroit, Michigan mayor) and former mayoral chief of staff Christine Beatty (not his wife) were made public yesterday.  We are really big fans of Kwame Kilpatric.  Why?  Besides the fact that he gives us so much to work with,  the only thing worse than a really bad boss is a really bad boss who doesn’t know when to sit down and shut up.  After weeks of vehemently denying the affair, perjuring himself in court  and refusing to resign even though EVERYONE KNEW HE WAS LYING, prosecutors revealed the existence of  the text messages that would ultimately seal his fate.  Now that the messages have been made public, they reveal quite a few salty exchanges between the two. Nice mayoral conduct Kwame and yet another example of bosses behaving badly.  To read the nastiness in detail, click here.

Don’t cry for me Argentina – Well, as we reported yesterday, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was indeed in Argentina, trying to get his groove back.  In an emotional, tear filled press conference, Sanford (ironically tanned) apologized to his wife, his children and, it seems, to everyone else in the world.  Sanford, unlike many other of his ilk didn’t deny having the affair and came clean about it before evidence surfaced that would prove he was lying (think Kilpatrick, Edwards).  We can argue ad nauseam about whether or not unfaithful politicians should continue to be trusted by their constituents, but in Sanford’s case, what’s unarguable is his M.I.A  routine. You can’t just go AWOL because you feel a sudden urge to get your groove on.   Abandoning your office – even temporarily – without alerting your staff or your family, is inexcusable and cause for serious questioning of your mental stability.

I’m not a South Carolina resident, and ultimately the decision lies with them.  But in our opinion, Sanford’s disappearing act is a surefire sign of a Really Bad Boss.

This is happening waaaay too often – These politicians are keeping me busy. Last week while I was lollygagging about up north minding my own business, yet another Senator admitted to having sexay times with someone other than his wife, practically begging me to write about him here.

This time the senator was 47 year old Paul Stanley (R-TN), and his “indiscretion” was with a 22 year old intern.  The conservative Republican (of course) and abstinence only supporter (of course, of course), admitted to having a sexual relationship with his intern.  After much soul searching the senator decided to come clean because his conscience wouldn’t allow him to continue with the hypocrisy.  NOT.  What really happened was the intern’s boyfriend got a hold of some nudie pictures the senator took of his girlfriend and tried to blackmail him.  It was only then that the Senator saw the light and fessed up about the affair to local authorities, stopping the blackmailer in his tracks.  The boyfriend is now charged with trying to extort $10,000 from the senator.  And the senator has joined our growing list of political Really Bad Bosses.

As if the whole sordid tale wasn’t bad enough, guess how Stanley met his current wife? You guessed it, she was once his intern.  Read the entire hot mess of a story here.

Tomorrow: Affairs weren’t the only deception by politician’s in 2009

This week in Really Bad Boss, political bad bosses shine…

• Mark Sanford’s been ridin’ dirty
  • Say it aint so – Roland Burris threatens to keep his senate seat because “people keep telling him he should.” We’re not buying it.
  • Ten things employers do that drive job seekers crazy. CNN had five, we knew we could find at least five more.
  • The slap that launched a thousand fantasies…

I have no idea what I'm doing...

It seems as though politicians are falling all over themselves to display tool-like behavior.  If we could unilaterally present the award to the architects of the birther movement and the healthcare town hall showdowns, we would.  But, in keeping with tradition, we’ll give the award to a single individual who’s recently displayed very tool-like behavior.

This week, it’s a toss-up between Blagojevich puppet, Senator (we use the term loosely) Roland Burris and Governor Mark “don’t cry for me Argentina” Sanford.  Sanford’s personal use of his state’s plane has rightfully fallen under scrutiny. Pickups from his son’s games and flights to get discount haircuts, all funded by taxpayer dollars, deservedly put Sanford in the running. 

However, Burris gets the award this week for announcing a change of heart and declaring that he might run to retain his senate seat.  He then provided further proof that he’s operating solely on fumes when he declared “people all over the country” were urging him to run.  When pressed, Burris could not specify what country or clearly define what he meant by “people.”