I watch way too much TV. I also have an active imagination. And I spend an inordinate amount of time plotting (Pinky and The Brain style) the demise of really bad bosses everywhere. So it was only a matter of time before the genius that is Survivor Agita: Bad Bosses vs. Employees surfaced.

For the uninitiated or un-Italian, Agita is the Italian word for heartburn. At the job where I first heard the word, it was frequently used to describe the sensation we felt at the hands of a particularly ridiculous boss. Here’s Agita correctly used in a sentence: “Oh marone, that *%^&* gives me agita!” The actual physical location of Agita is sketchy right now, but it’s feeling like it’s gonna be someplace in Jersey.

In my version of CBS’s long running reality show, former employees face off against notoriously bad bosses and beat the sh*t out of them battle them for supremacy. The losers (who in my vision are always the bosses) are forced to return to work for someone infinitely more awful than they are. It’s like Survivor meets Undercover Boss but without the crying. In this version there’ll be no moment of understanding when the boss finally realizes the error of his ways 43 minutes into the episode and just in time for the next commercial break. There will be no hidden immunity idol, absolutely no tribe switching, and Randy won’t be yelling played-out phrases like “Yo dawg.” Wait…what? Instead, in the end, the winner’s prize will be never having to work for another a**clown really bad boss again. Ever.

Hold on my phone is ringing. I bet it’s CBS.

What the blogosphere’s saying about bosses this week…

• Bad bosses take note. Over on her Career Matters blog, Mary Salvino sheds some light on what good hiring managers and corporate cultures strive for.

• The Economic Times shows you how to Cope with a Bad Boss.

• How to turn a profit from a bad boss – Etsy designer’s crude cross-stitch.

• What makes your bad boss act like a jerk at work?  Probably the same thing that makes him/her act like a jerk everywhere else.

• One in three workers think their boss is an idiot. The other two work for themselves. Just kidding…ish. In case you have any doubts, The Incompetent Manger offers some telltale signs you’re working for an idiot.

Or, Now Georgia’s gonna have to “Deal” with it. Or Georgia gets a raw “Deal.” Yeah, you get the point. When I first launched RBB I was hot and heavy with the political pontification – after all, politicians make GREAT subjects. Was it the senator tap dancing in the bathroom stall with the widest commode stance documented in history? Or was it the governor sexting while hiking the mountains in Argentina in search of his pregnant-although-he-denies-it-soul-mate who he found through a high-class call girl service? Or am I just morphing a bunch of dishonest, shameful politicians into one disgusting caricature ? (Image: Nathan Deal looking particularly shady)

Imagine if someone took the most corrupt, dishonest, egotistical people on the planet, separated them into two groups and put them in charge of a bunch of sh*t? Oh wait, we don’t have to imagine it. They already have and it’s called the Senate and the House. In case I haven’t been clear, I’m not a fan of politics or politicians. And not wanting this to become yet another political blog, I laid off the politics for a minute. But like a bad boyfriend, every time I try to get out they just draaaaag me back in.

Yesterday was election day. Political affiliations aside, what does it say about a state when they choose to elect as their governor a man who nonpartisan political watchdog group The Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) named one of the 15 Most Corrupt Congressmen Of 2010? Here’s what the Atlanta Journal had to say about Deal:

He has signed up with the worst excesses of the nativists; he’s an early sponsor of an ugly proposal to change the 14th Amendment, to strip birthright citizenship. Republicans used to consider the 14 Amendment one of their proudest achievements.

He has demanded that President Obama prove that he is an American citizen. That was a reversal for Deal, who had earlier been sane enough to say that he was satisfied that Obama was born in the USA.

U.S. Rep. Nathan Deal, a Republican candidate for governor in 2010, personally intervened with Georgia leaders to preserve an obscure state program that earns his company nearly $300,000 a year.

Deal on three occasions in the past year and a half met with state Revenue Commissioner Bart Graham to question proposed changes Graham wanted to make in the way Georgia inspects rebuilt salvaged vehicles. Deal coordinated his efforts through the office of a political ally, Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle.

Also, Deal’s chief of staff used his congressional e-mail account to contact Georgia Senate and Revenue Department staff to discuss the plans and to set appointments for Deal to meet with officials, including Cagle.

Deal and Ken Cronan own and operate Recovery Services Inc., also known as Gainesville Salvage & Disposal, which for nearly 20 years has enjoyed a lucrative agreement with the state that earned the company $1.5 million from 2004 through 2008, according to state records. The company provides a location and equipment for state inspectors to examine salvaged vehicles. Deal and Cronan never had to compete for the business, state officials said. Deal personally earns up to $150,000 a year from the enterprise, according to reports he files with the U.S. House.Graham has tried for years to expand the system through competitive bidding or privatization. Ultimately, Deal prevailed; the program, which at least two state leaders call a monopoly, remains unchanged — for the time being.

So my question for Georgians is this, how bad does a boss have to be to be too bad to be your governor? Apparently worse than Nathan Deal. Read more on Deal’s questionable ethics here.

And this girl has got to go back to work. Like 9-5, morning commute, fire-breathing-dragon-for-a-boss work. After two (almost) blissful years of no weave wearing diva giving me orders or insane little person demanding I demonstrate loyalty by “drinking the kool-aid”, it’s time to get back to the grind.

I will miss not having to show up to work half-deaf and blind with a sinus infection because my suspicious boss doesn’t really think I’m sick. I’ll miss never feeling secure enough to take my weeks and weeks of accumulated vacation because I just might be replaced while I’m gone. And I’ll miss the complete and utter sense of freedom I’ve felt over the last couple of years. But alas, freedom is not free. Bills need to be paid, and my history of incredibly bad bosses aside, the 9-5 beckons. Sort of. Here’s what’s different this time around. I’ve finally, finally learned a few hard earned lessons about being gainfully employed. Wanna hear it? Here it go…

My bosses don’t owe me anything except the paycheck I get in return for my work. They are not required to be nice, respectful, honest, fair or just. It would be awesome if they were, but unless I work at a Sunday School, I’m not expecting to see any Christ-like tendencies among my bosses. Unlike 15 years ago when I first entered the workforce with visions of receiving nurturing and growth from a company from which I’d retire 20 years later – 401K and pension intact – I now realize that helping prepare me for my future is not a company’s responsibility, it’s my own.

Companies are in business to make money for themselves, not for Denise. And no matter how brilliant, hard-working or loyal I am, for them I am simply a means to an end. I am not their friend, trusted companion or loyal supporter, and they aren’t mine. And by I and mine, I mean you and yours. Are many bosses incompetent, ridiculous and infuriating? Absolutely. And, as long as they continue to be, I’ll be writing about them here (and then I’ll pass the mantle on to my grandchildren, who’ll pass it on to their grandchildren…you get the point.) But, there’s a difference between wanting them to change their behavior and needing them to. I want my bosses to be competent, generous, intelligent people, but I no longer need them to be. Why? I’ll tell you on Wednesday.

Do you need your boss to be competent, intelligent, nice…?  Share your thoughts on what we should and shouldn’t expect from our bosses and our jobs in the comment section.