A bad boss from day one

A reader sent the following story in as a comment on our “Worst Bosses of all time” post. She sent it on New Years after being told she had to go into the office. Any of us who’ve had a really bad boss can relate to her feeling sick and crying on the weekend in anticipation of the drama that will most certainly take place on Monday morning. Here’s her story in her own words…

I was out of work for over a year so when I was offered a job to work at a non-profit agency an hour away from home, I said, Thank you, and took the job. Little did I know that the female version of Adolph Hitler is alive and well and running the non-profit agency where I had just agreed to work. While this woman was unpleasant at the interview, I just assumed that she was having a bad day or perhaps was stressed. I was mistaken; that is the norm.

On my first day in the office, instead of receiving any kind of welcome or introduction from her, she approached me as I was still holding my coat, purse and bag containing personal items like Kleenex and reference books, and said, Meeting in five minutes – I need you to take notes. The receptionist showed me where my office was and I hurriedly sat my things down and grabbed a pad and pen. There were about a dozen people in the meeting and she never introduced them to me, so I drew a diagram of the seating and numbered them so I could keep the comments straight of who said what. Finally, when there was a lull in the discussion, I spoke up and asked if, since I was asked to take minutes, I could please have everyone’s names. The boss later told me that I was never to interrupt one of her meetings again. Afterwards, she gave me several documents to make revisions on, however, I was not allowed to have access to any documents of my predecessor, so I had to completely re-type all the documents.

When I went to my new boss to ask a question, I discovered that she had left the office and had locked her door shut – she does not share her schedule with anyone and no one knew if and when she would return for the day. Another admin assistant introduced herself and showed me around the office and sort of explained what my position would be like. I was also told that I was the fourth secretary my boss had had so far this year. When my boss returned, I told her that I had tried to go to her to ask a question but found out that she was gone but the other admin had been very helpful and answered some questions for me. The boss was livid – “WHY WERE YOU TALKING TO HER??? SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING – SHE’S JUST A TEMP! SHE IS NOT YOUR BOSS – I AM YOUR BOSS! (repeating) ..SHE IS NOT YOUR BOSS — I AM YOUR BOSS!!!” I reminded her that it was my first day; that she was gone and I didn’t know if she would be back and the other admin had actually answered my questions. I was reminded that I was never to go to the other admin again for any reason without express direction.

…On Day #2, I handed a document to my boss that I had just completed; she looked it over while I stood and waited for further direction from her. She turned to me and said, “You’re a perfectionist, aren’t you?”, I replied that I guess I am. With a sinister tone, my new boss told me, “I’m a perfectionist, too. We’re going to butt heads and I’m going to win.” I told her, “You can win! You’re my boss and I’m just here to help you. Why would we butt heads?” She said, We’ll see. I have now been here two months and it is some of the longest two months of my life. I cry on my way to work, I cry on Sundays knowing that I have to go back to that horrible woman on Monday. Although she does not usually raise her voice, her tone is always cynical, sarcastic,

accusing, condescending and demeaning. She does not believe in training. Her philosophy is that training is “clerical work” and she’s the boss around here and she will NOT do clerical work. While I don’t need training for my skills, every office is run differently and some kind of training is needed in order to learn and to be most efficient in being of service to your boss. But my boss does not believe in that. There is an assumption that you should come in on Day 1 and know everything there is to know about the agency and your job as if you’ve been working there 20 years.

Since there is no preparation beforehand and you learn very quickly that any kind of question you have will not be answered, or will be answered in such a belittling way that questions your intelligence or willingness to work that you soon learn it is not worth it to ask questions, if something – even the smallest detail – is done in an “unacceptable manner” as the boss deems, you are called into her office and berated for not getting it right. She is completely disorganized, but if you do anything to try to help her get organized, she accuses you of trying to “manage” her. She once CC’d me on an email to her other “staff” where they were to submit a report to me by noon on a certain day. On the morning that the reports were due, I emailed the staff members that had not turned in their report as a reminder that I needed them by noon that day, and I made the mistake of CC’ing my boss. …I was told that I had overstepped my boundaries and to NEVER email “her” staff again without express direction from her! However, a few weeks later, a similar situation arose when projects were due and when I told her that certain people had not followed up and we were missing documents needed from them, she was furious with me that I had not followed-up on this appropriately. She then (at the end of the day on Friday, when I should have been leaving) demanded that I call the offending parties and tell them that if they did not turn the missing pages in by mid-day Monday, she would file everything “as is”. I left voice messages and followed up with email messages, trying to word everything as politely as I could, while still getting across the message that this was urgent and we needed them ASAP. I was told to CC her on the emails.

Once again, I made an attempt to leave for the weekend, and instead was buzzed into my boss’s office – again she was outraged – because some of the “offenders” were Board Members to whom she answered, and I was told that I had been rude for seeming to rush them. I was then told that she was going to have to call them to smoothe things over with them and apolgize for my rude behavior, and furthermore, I was to meet with her at 10:00 Monday morning to discuss my failings further. I was literally sick all weekend, throwing up from nerves, but that morning, when I went in to work, I came prepared. I literally wore a wire. I stuffed a tiny tape recorder in my sweater and wore it – I still have the tape – my favorite part is when she is telling me how I am to treat the Board Members with kid gloves because they are people with money and influence, I am simply nodding my head to what she is saying when she snaps – “LET ME FINISH!”, as if I had interrupted her – it’s all on the tape! ….There is sooooo much more that I could write here…. not enough time to document it all, but it is unbelievable… By the way, today is New Year’s Eve and our office is closed today, but I am here because I was sick yesterday. To be more specific, I was driving in to work and a half hour into my commute, I became extremely dizzy and felt I was going to faint, I panicked and pulled off the road and immediately either went to sleep or passed out, for only about five minutes. I pulled the car into a nearby parking lot and since it was too early for anyone to be at the office yet, I was still feeling a little dazed and extremely sleepy – I closed my eyes and went to sleep again.

I called the office and told the receptionist what was going on. I told her that I was going to have my sister come and get me and I was going to go home and lie down and hopefully I would be well enough to come back later in the day. After about 45 minutes, my sister did come and get me and took me home – where there were two phone messages waiting for me, wanting to know when I was coming in. I called and explained that I was going to try to get some rest and I would try to come in later. I lay down and had just gotten to sleep when the phone rang again, my boss had asked a staff member to call me to find out, once again, when I was coming in. I was told to call back in another hour or so. Knowing that I would not be able to get any sleep, I got up, got dressed and told them I was coming in, however, I was very upset and I was told to not come in and that instead I would be expected to work a full day today. I told her that I was not expecting to work on New Year’s Eve and I had things that had to be done that day that I would not be able to do if I had to work a full day — and I was told to do them yesterday, since I was not coming in. So, instead of getting any rest, I went out, had my car serviced, returned gift items at the store, and had a meeting with my insurance agent and mortgage company. I got home after dark, completely exhausted. So much for getting any rest. And here I am. Not only is our little non-profit agency closed today, but we are in a large, four-story office building, and mine is the only car in the parking lot – I had to have the security officer unlock the doors for me so I could just get in. I still feel sick, but I am here. The boss is due in in any minute – she is going to give me instructions and then leave.

There’s no worse feeling than finally getting a job after having looked for one for a while, only to find that you’re now working for the boss from hell. It’s even worse when you come to that realization on the first day of work. What advice would you give to our reader to help her handle her boss and her situation? Do you have a similar bad boss story to share? Share it in the comment section of this post, or email me at denised@reallybadboss.com.

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