Posted by denised in 
I was talking to a friend of mine this week who is, as so many of us are, frustrated at the unreasonableness of her boss. My friend missed a day of work last week. She hadn’t taken a “mental health” day and hadn’t spent the day getting a mani-pedi. What she did have was, what most would consider, an exemplary record with her employer. She hadn’t made it to work because the worst storm in decades had shut down all possible routes to her place of employment. Highways were flooded, buildings were underwater, and when she tried to drive into work that morning, she was forced to turn around and head back home. Even so, to make up for the lost day of work, her boss made her use one of only a handful of personal days she had coming to her.
I find that unreasonable. Really unreasonable. I’m sure some HR heads out there will point to established policy that indicates that my friend’s boss was simply following the rules when she made her take that personal day. I suppose she was. But at what cost? The road closings were well documented and had been a national news item for days. There was no question about my friend’s inability to get to work. And, as I said before, she was considered an exemplary employee. What employers don’t get is this – when great employees are only marginally happy with their jobs, things like making them taking personal days for a natural disaster, only increase the likelihood of them jumping ship at the first possible opportunity.
I had a similar situation with a previous boss who read me the riot act when I let her know (a week in advance) that I’d be unable to work a NON-MANDATORY weekend event due to a prior commitment. On speaker phone, from the comfort of her own home and with an assistant manager in the room, my boss proceeded to tell me how “very disappointed” she was in me. She went on to question my “commitment” to my job. I reminded her that in my review earlier that year, she’d commended me on my work ethic and my willingness to work whenever asked, even on weekends. Her response was to stutter a loud “are you disobeying a direct order?!?” and then to ask whether or not I knew “there’d be consequences” to disobeying that order. I took her words as the threat she intended them to be, and it shook me. Considering I wasn’t in the military, I found her questions surprising and offensive. Not only had I been one of the strongest employees in the unit, but we both knew that I was also a very dedicated and committed one.
If you’re a good employee, when an employer questions your commitment, treats you unreasonably and barks orders in your face (or over the speakerphone), it’s a blow. A blow to your ego, your sense of self respect and your pride. But for me, the incident turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It was on that day that my efforts at finding a new job shifted into high gear. From that day on I dedicated myself to finding new and better employment, and spent every waking, non-working hour fine tuning my resume and applying for jobs. I’d wanted out for months, but it was the humiliation of that conversation that gave me the push I needed to finally get out.
These stories should serve as a precautionary tale for employers. Had my boss been reasonable, I might still be working there today. Instead, her unwillingness to acknowledge my role with the company and her compulsion to repeatedly remind me that she was in charge, led her to lose a great employee. It got me wondering, is it really that difficult for bosses to be reasonable? And, is it worth the price they pay when they are?
