Posted by denised in The best thing about a Really Bad Boss is no longer having one. This summer I’ve entertained family, travelled, and am even planning another trip. As I sat preparing for my weekend getaway, I looked back over the summer and all I’ve been able to do. Granted, money is tighter this year – much tighter – but local getaways, road trips and entertaining friends and family can be both inexpensive and very rewarding. I thought about the reasons I’m enjoying this summer so much, despite a layoff and my own personal economic crunch. It boils down to this; I no longer have a Really Bad Boss to worry about.
For years my summers havebeen marred by wondering if, when, and how much vacation time I’d be “allowed” to take. As an adult, seeking permission from other adults to take time off, was nerve racking and frustrating, particularly when they dangled time off over our heads like bread in a famine. I watched as upper management and CEOs took weeks at a time without so much as a second thought, and frankly it made me angry. I felt like a kid in elementary school, asking for a hall pass to handle my business and my really bad boss was the principal, slowly pondering my requests while she enjoyed her own private bathroom, unconcerned and uncaring about the well being of her students.
I’ve told many really bad boss stories, and quite a few of them are dedicated to my power hungry, incompetent former manager who authorized trash can searches and pantyhose checks for lack of anything better to do. The pantyhose checker is the same boss who called me into her office one day to tell me that my use of personal leave was “excessive. “ Let me clarify a few things for you. 1) She approved and authorized all leave prior to me taking it, 2) I had five weeks leave each year, and had used only two of them and 3) I frequently worked weekends and late hours and had an exemplary record while in her employ. There was absolutely no practical or rational reason for her to call me to the carpet for requesting leave. Simply put, she brought up my leave requests because she could. She knew she had the authority to question me, and question she did. I don’t believe she ever had any intention of denying my requests, but she wanted me to know that if she wanted to, she could.
Up until that point, I’d tolerated her micromanaging ways and power trips, but her behavior that day shook me. If her intention had been to remind me that as long as I worked for someone else, my time was not my own, she succeeded. Her little warning was even more disturbing because I worked hard during the week to stay above the noise and nonsense in the office, and my weekends and days off were the one bright light at the end of the tunnel that helped me keep a grip on my sanity. And with one simple conversation, I had allowed her to take that from me.
As with most lessons in life, I look back now and am grateful for the conversation that day. I had been miserable for months, but never fully committed myself to an intense job search, in the hopes that things would turn around. But the conversation I had that day and how I felt after, were the impetuses that lead to me ratcheting up my job search and ultimately moving to a much more rewarding, better paying job. It also reinforced a life lesson that we all know but need to be reminded of every now and then. We’re ultimately responsible for making the changes in our lives that will make us happy. My boss’ behavior was intended to make me miserable, and while I had no control over her actions, I certainly had control of mine.
I owe a debt of gratitude to my really bad bosses and the bad boss stories they’ve made possible. So to the Jim Jones cult lunatic, the pantyhose spy and the Reprobate, thanks for the memories. Enjoying my summer makes me appreciate your absence so much more.
