Posted by denised in I’ve had several requests to reissue the Really Bad Boss APB for Good Management. In light of GM filing for bankruptcy, our ongoing bank crisis and the relentless stream of idiocy displayed by the really bad bosses around us, I thought today would be a good day to reissue that APB:
Authorities issue an APB for Good Management. Missing for years from thousands of offices around the world, Good Management appears to be gone forever and authorities are not optimistic about locating it. For starters, since really bad bosses rarely display good management sense, employees have been unable to provide an accurate description. As far as authorities have been able to ascertain, good management may never have been in really bad boss’ possession, as no one can remember ever seeing him utilize it. Common Sense, a close friend of Good Management, is also said to be missing from the ranks of managers worldwide and was last seen…well…no details are available on the last time Common Sense was seen in management.
Authorities are currently questioning the human resources manager, who has long been suspected of hiring the really bad boss in question, despite having prior knowledge that he had never possessed nor utilized good management or common sense. The HR manager, when questioned about her own lack of management sense, refused to answer, citing preparation for an upcoming company potluck (the company’s 12th this week) as her top priority. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, including her DNA found on ridiculous decisions strewn recklessly around the office, the HR manager still maintains that she is doing an exceptional job. Upon hearing this, authorities immediately questioned her sanity and her understanding of the word “exceptional.”
Authorities ask that concerned citizens be on the lookout for anything remotely resembling good management. To some, it might look like not paying bonuses to executives who suck. To others it may look more like valuing employees input and fostering a nurturing environment. Still others might see fleeting glimpses of Good Managment in managers who refuse to take pay increases while laying off employees. Good management was last seen hanging out with Common Sense and Decency. The trio, while difficult to find, might be the combination of characteristics that ultimately saves big business and politics. If you see any signs that your really bad boss is exhibiting any of these characteristics, contact authorities immediately and then bundle up. Hell is about to freeze over.
Update: Immediately following the potluck luncheon, the HR Manager was taken into custody on suspicion of being the world’s biggest idiot. At the time of this writing, the HR Manager was still maintaining her innocence and preparing to celebrate National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day throughout the office. Employees have been on the lookout for a hand big enough to slap some sense into her.
