Posted by denised in When good HR goes bad – Absolutely unbelievable Mary – Part 2
Yesterday I introduced you to Mary, the unbelievably clueless HR Manager and really bad boss at one of my previous jobs. So you could be sure I wasn’t making it up, I promised to give you details of a couple of Mary’s finer moments including her inability to hire good people, her addiction to potluck luncheons and her two week maternity leave policy. Without further ado:
She demonstrated a complete and utter inability to find, hire and keep good talent - Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t one of the hallmarks of good HR Management the ability to find and keep the right people? If that’s true, yet your company remains a revolving door of people and positions, doesn’t that mean there’s something seriously amiss in HR? Can every candidate be so misleading during the interview process that you completely miss the warning signs that within their first week at work, they’ll call out sick, ask several coworkers ”how long before you can request vacation time?” and steal food from the refrigerator? The problem was that Mary had a habit of posting positions, bringing in one or two candidates to interview and praying that the one without the felony would excel in the interview. I’m exaggerating slightly – very slightly – but, the obvious problem with that is, you end up hiring the best of the worst. In another case, we sensed something was awry with one of the managers she’d just hired (the 3rd person in that position in about 2 years) when after only about a week, he kept falling asleep during meetings. He was gone in just under three months, and so was the manager (again, one of two people interviewed) that followed him.
She was determined to solve all the company’s problems with potluck luncheons - I liken it to roasting marshmallows on a camping trip while the forest is burning down around you. In Mary’s case she wasn’t roasting marshmallows; she was planning monthly potluck luncheons. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good potluck luncheon as much as the next guy, but when Napoleon is mixing a batch of poisonous Kool-Aid in the kitchen, the CEO is stone drunk at the sales meeting and you are on your third customer service manager in less than two years, chicken pot pie and macaroni and cheese will not solve the problem. Note to Mary; neither will celebrating National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, National Ice Cream Sunday Day or any other “holiday” featuring tasty treats.
She attempted to implement a two week maternity leave policy. When it comes to certain employment laws, different rules apply for small businesses. In our case, establishing policies, including those governing maternity leave, was at the discretion of the employer. So, when a pregnant colleague went to Mary to discuss her impending maternity leave, she was shocked to learn that Mary’s idea of appropriate maternity leave was two weeks. In her typically helpful way, Mary suggested that the employee use her vacation time (also two weeks) if she needed more time. Need I say more?
Maybe in another post, I’ll tell you about her sending a bottle of cologne – just because he said he liked it- to her male subordinate, her mood swings that would leave the entire office wondering if this was one of her non-talking days and her inability to handle even an ounce of criticism.
The real rub in all of this is that while many employees have all either quit, been laid off, or fired, Mary is still there, planning her potlucks, celebrating her make believe holidays and remaining completely oblivious to the raging fire burning everything down around her.
